bet he wouldn’t be impressed if I told him I just wanted to go home and take a nap.
“Something light,” I tell him instead. I bet I can push salad around on my plate enough that it looks like I’ve eaten.
He doesn’t say another word as he drives, and the atmosphere in the air is stilted and awkward. I never thought things would be strange between the two of us, but I also didn’t think he’d make himself scarce after all the attention he showered me with. That’s a lie. I knew eventually they’d start pulling away, I just thought Jinx would do it first, and it wouldn’t happen until after the paternity results were in.
The little café he parks in front of doesn’t seem like the place that would have lighter fare. It seems more like the chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes type of restaurant, but I don’t complain as he comes around to my side of the SUV and pulls open the passenger side door.
“They have great milkshakes here.”
My stomach turns at the thought of downing an entire glass of something milky. “Sounds perfect.”
Why am I lying to him? I’ve never done that in the past. I’ve never worried about appeasing him before.
The waitress, a sweet young girl by the name of Macie takes our order before disappearing behind a swinging door into the back. We’re here at the weird time between breakfast and lunch, so there aren’t that many people around us. Rocker isn’t wearing his leather cut, so most eyes keep to their own tables and meal partners. I’m grateful for the reprieve of eyes since we got so much attention at the doctor’s office.
“What do you want?”
I look up at Rocker, mildly annoyed that he’s interrupted the staring contest I was having with the paper from my straw.
“I already ordered a sandwich and side salad.”
He shakes his head, cheek twitching like he wants to say more but for some reason he’s censoring what he really wants to say.
“What do you want the results to be?”
I could play ignorant, make him think I don’t know what he’s talking about, but a few more seconds won’t make any bit of difference.
“Either way it isn’t fair.” I shake my head, urging my eyes not to get wet. I haven’t let myself think about the results too much. Focusing on something I can’t control would only drive me mad, and the pregnancy hormones are taking enough of a toll on my mental wellbeing.
“Fair?” he scoffs.
When I look back up at him, I can see defeat in his face, only this time I think I can read what he was hoping my answer would be, and this makes me take pause. If I’m right, Rocker is hoping that he’s the father, and that just about floors me. I took his absence since they got back as him not being interested in the situation at all, but maybe there’s a different reason.
“He’s been just as present as you have,” I say instead.
Even more so recently.
“He didn’t want to be a dad.”
That stings a little, but I’m certain Rocker didn’t want this either. He may have changed his tune now, but he made it very clear what our relationship was before Jeremy came back. I wouldn’t even call it a relationship. We had sex, great sex, but that was it. If Rocker got to choose who he had children with, I have no doubt I wouldn’t have even made his top ten. Who wants to be saddled with a barmaid who has a history of abuse and trust issues? Hell, I wouldn’t pick that for myself, so he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.
“And I never thought I’d be a mom,” I confess instead of pointing out that he and Jinx aren’t all that different.
“This whole thing is messy,” he says.
Before I can apologize once again and remind him that I’m not asking for a single thing from either one of them no matter what the results are, Macie brings our food to the table. He digs in, but his eyes never leave mine. He’s bullying me into eating, and I’d like nothing more than to refuse, but my stomach started to growl the second we walked inside and I smelled the heavenly scents coming from the kitchen.
I pour a ridiculous amount of ranch on my salad and nearly moan around the first bite of cold, crisp vegetables, and that’s how the meal is spent. I keep shoveling food into