reflection of his opinion on what goes on in my life or his opinion on what Simone does, but either way it irritates me.
“She ever tell you about Alison?”
I take a long breath, knowing his opinion of either one of us won’t get any better if I confess that talking about things other than trying a new position or whether she’s in the mood for anal is about as deep as our conversations have ever gotten before today.
“Who is Alison?”
“Was,” he begins. “Alison was her sister. She died last year. Or I should say, she was beaten to death by her abusive boyfriend.”
“You worked that case?” He didn’t seem like he recognized Simone, and she didn’t act as if she’d ever seen him before when he came to her hospital room.
He shakes his head. “Working that case would’ve been a conflict of interest for me.”
“You were dating her sister?” I don’t bother to hide the indignance or blame in my voice. “Did he find out and kill her?”
“No,” he answers immediately. “I wasn’t fucking dating her. I was helping her.”
He scrubs his hands over his face, focusing on the front of the apartment rather than me when he continues.
“She wanted help, but she wasn’t ready to leave.”
“That makes no fucking sense.”
“It didn’t to me at the time, and it wasn’t until I spent hours and hours doing research on the psychology of abuse victims that I began to understand.”
“I know all about the fucking cycle of violence. Did you forget the job we do as well? Abused women aren’t exactly new to me either.”
“Alison stopped me outside of a café one evening. Her lip was cut and she had recently been smacked around. She had hypothetical questions.” He lifts his hands, using air quotes for hypothetical. “She was a smart girl, and I found myself unable to lie to her when she asked about the success rates of leaving and being safe, about conviction rates, and the length of time abusers spent in prison. I told her the truth, which is unfortunately grim. Our justice system doesn’t do enough to dissuade domestic assault.”
“So she stayed.”
“She stayed and it ended up getting her killed. She never reported him. Never mentioned his name. We met in secret several times, and I’d beg her to get help. I offered her a place to stay, offered her resources through our own community and even some in Colorado if she wanted to get out of New Mexico. I told her I’d pay for her to go back to Vermont where her parents are, but she refused. She was terrified. Every day she lived not knowing if it was going to be her last, and one day it was.”
He clears his throat as he looks down at his feet, and I give him a moment because I had him all wrong. He isn’t working a case against Simone. He’s doing everything within his power to make sure she’s not punished for defending herself.
“Simone is braver than all of us because she fought back. Alison didn’t get help. I didn’t force Alison to get help when she begged me to let her handle it. Things could’ve been different, and that’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.”
“You loved her,” I whisper out loud, and he flinches like I struck him in the face.
“Yeah, well,” he lifts his face to the sky with his eyes closed, “we all have our demons, right?”
We grow silent as the birds in the nearby trees begin to chatter with the warming sun. Summer in New Mexico is no joke, and the moment the sun breaks from the horizon, the temps skyrocket.
“Will you compromise this case by working it?”
“I have no relation or involvement with Simone Murphy. I have a history with her husband because he was a piece of shit and has been getting arrested since I was a rookie and he was a teen, but that’s not considered a conflict.”
He looks off in the distance as if the parking lot holds the answers to several questions. My eyes follow the same path because I have a couple things I need answered as well.
“I’m going to speak with my supervisors, but the evidence inside the apartment matches her story. I have no personal doubt that her actions were self-defense. I don’t think my chief will either, but the evidence will still have to be presented to the district attorney’s office.”