Rocked (The Everyday Heroes World) - Julia Wolf Page 0,91
few friends. I let go of Devon and pulled her against me.
“Have fun. Remember—”
She pushed away from me, grinning. “No food, don’t touch anything. I know, Mom, jeez.”
I threw my hands up. “I guess now that you’re a rock star, I’m done raising you.”
She laughed and waved over her shoulder as she ran off with her friends. Neither Veego nor Devon were too thrilled about this Simon fellow, but Casey convinced Veego to enjoy the festival with her. Rose had slipped off quietly, leaving me and Devon on our own.
“Should we walk around too?” he asked.
What I wanted to do was go home and scream at god or the universe or whatever it was that made Ellie have to write songs about facing down death when she should be writing about boys and homework and friend drama. She shouldn’t have had such a strong grasp on her own mortality at twelve, but she did. She knew what it was like to gasp for breath, feeling her throat closing up, unsure if she’d get another.
Instead of doing that—I’d done it many, many times and it had gotten me nowhere—I slipped my hand in Devon’s, the other source of my heartbreak, and said, “Sure, I’d love to walk around with you.”
Devon made light conversation as we blended into the crowd. Neither of us wanted wine, but we stopped at a stall selling fried goat cheese balls and bought some to share. We found a quiet spot to sit down between two buildings, leaning our backs against the brick wall.
“Did I fuck something up?” he asked.
“No.” I threw my half-eaten cheese ball back into the basket and wiped my lips with a napkin. “Why?”
He pressed his fingers under my chin and turned my head to face him. “You won’t look at me. Your hand was like a corpse. And you look sad, Lady.”
“Well, I am sad.” There, it was out there. What was the sense in hiding it now?
“Why?” he asked.
“You know why.”
“You’re going to miss me?”
I nodded, my lips pressed into a firm line.
“Thought you weren’t going to fall for me.” His fingers splayed, covering my jaw.
“I thought so too. It is what it is.”
He sighed. “What if—”
My heart stopped, waiting for him to say he’d stay—move to Sunnyville and give us a real shot. Figure out how to fit his career around starting a life with me. Maybe tell me he was as heartbroken to be leaving as I was that he was going.
“What if what, Devon?”
His lips touched mine in a whisper of a kiss. “What if we don’t say we’re done? I could probably fly out here every couple months. When I go on tour, maybe we could meet up for the night on my stops close by.” Oh god, he had no idea, did he? None. “No pressure on either of us, keep it loose so it doesn’t feel like we’re tied down. But I don’t want to walk out of here and never see you again.”
It took exactly one second for my broken heart to turn to dust. And another for me to give him an answer.
“No.”
I would not chase another man who wasn’t that into me. I’d learned my lesson years ago that I needed a lot more than that.
He reared back. “No?”
“No.” My hands on his chest, I pushed him away from me and got up from the ground. “No, I don’t want that.”
My vision had gone fuzzy at the edges. My stomach had dropped to the floor. I shouldn’t have been mad. Devon had told me he’d make me laugh and break my heart. He’d told me he was the worst kind of bad. I believed him then, then I’d forgotten for a while. I had let myself forget.
He grabbed my arm as I walked away, stopping me in my tracks. I refused to turn around, though. Absolutely refused.
“You’re not even going to look at me?” He sounded so forlorn, I almost gave in, but I touched the scar on my jaw and held fast.
“I have nothing left to say to you. Let me go.”
Before he could say anything else, the sounds of an ambulance siren split the air. I couldn’t say why, but I found myself ripping my arm from Devon’s grasp and taking off toward the blinking lights. He called my name, his footsteps pounding loud behind me, but I kept moving. I knew. I just knew I had to get there.
Rose stepped into my path. “Kathleen, stay calm, baby.”