Rocked (The Everyday Heroes World) - Julia Wolf Page 0,62
caught up in that guy, it never would have happened.”
Whenever I contemplated being ready for some kind of relationship, I pictured coming home and finding Ellie in anaphylaxis with my mom passed out drunk on the couch beside her. If I’d been a minute or two later, my sweet girl would have died. That was a fact. Logically, I knew she was much older now and the chances of that happening were lower, but guilt was a powerful thing. It clung to me all these years later, so hard, I didn’t bother attempting to shrug it off anymore.
I’d dated off and on over the last few years, but no one had caught my interest for long enough to consider something serious. Sex, yes. Relationships, no thanks.
“Kat,” he cupped my face, “you’re fucking amazing. That kid is so well-loved. She’s lucky as hell. I don’t know anyone who grew up with parents like you and Veego. But I hate thinking you’re not letting yourself live because of some shit that happened a decade ago.”
“I don’t have to have a man to be alive.”
“I know.” He nuzzled into my neck. “I want you to be happy. Forgive yourself. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Have you forgiven yourself?” I asked.
“No.” His lips touched my throat. “But I don’t deserve it. You do.”
“Maybe neither of us are living because of some shit that happened a decade ago,” I said, throwing his words back at him.
“I’m living.”
“You’re miserable.”
His hand slipped under the hem of my shirt, splaying across my stomach. “I’d say I’m the opposite of miserable right now.”
“But this isn’t forever.” I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, stopping his ascent to my breasts. “When you leave Sunnyville, are you going to go right back to doing the same things that got you in your car in the first place?”
He held my eyes. “I don’t know. I can’t picture it anymore. Sometimes I lie there in my bed, looking at the stars outside my window, wondering how I’m going to bear going weeks without seeing them. Eventually, I’ll probably stop looking up.”
“That’s so sad.”
“Yeah…well, I get to be the star, so I guess it’s a trade-off.”
“Not a fair trade, in my opinion.”
“Lady,” he murmured, “this is too heavy for a plane ride to LA. Let’s be friends.”
“We are friends. If you knock on my door, I’ll let you in. I won’t kick your ass to the curb again.”
Vulnerability softened his gaze. “I haven’t had a real friend in a long, long time.”
“I’m a really good friend, so you got lucky,” I said softly.
“I know I did.”
Devon pushed his key into his lock as he chewed on his lip. “Don’t tell me if you hate it.”
“That would be pretty rude if I did, huh?”
Finally, he opened the door to his house and allowed me to step inside before him. My first impression was it was bright and open. And pretty damn huge. While I didn’t feel like I’d walked onto a filming of MTV’s “Cribs,” the house was bigger than any I’d ever been inside.
He guided me into the living room, which opened to the kitchen—all white. The back wall of the house was entirely windows, and beyond was an infinity pool looking over a brush-covered hill.
We may have had all the stars back home, but the sun was here, shining bright into Devon’s house.
Devon stood back while I walked around, tossing his keys back and forth between his hands. The record player he’d told me about had a prime spot on a console table against the wall, a few records scattered artfully around it. I picked up a White Stripes album, appreciating his taste in music.
He approached from behind, sweeping my hair to the side and pressing his lips to the back of my neck. “We have a couple hours before we have to start getting ready. Would you like to listen to some music?”
I shivered at the feel of his warm breath on my skin. “Very much. I’d very much like to listen to music. Choose your favorite please.”
He found a record on the shelf anchored to the wall, hiding the sleeve from me as he put it in the player.
Devon liked to surprise me by showing me unexpected dimensions of himself. When he put on a Mac Miller album, not rock n’ roll at all, I was delighted.
“I like this.” I lifted my arms over my head, bumping my hips to the slow, lazy beat.
“I like you doing that.” His hands curved around my