The Rock Star's Baby Bargain - Lili Valente Page 0,14

says, squeezing my thigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too, and it’s okay.” I pull in a breath and let it out slowly. “Well, it’s not okay, but you know… It’s as okay as it can be. She gets clean for long stretches, but it never seems to stick.” I shrug. “At least she had her act together while I was in high school when I needed her the most. I’m grateful for that.”

Zack glances my way. “Hard time in high school?”

I laugh, leaning my head against the seat. “So hard. They say you fall in love with people who remind you of your parents, and I made that my mission in life for a few years. My boyfriend was this alcoholic narcissist who made me miserable, but I had such a hard time quitting him. I kept thinking I could make it better, make him better, if I could just figure out how to give him exactly what he needed.”

“While ignoring what you needed?” Zack skims his hand up and down my thigh in a way I know is meant to be comforting, but it only makes my sex-starved body sizzle hotter.

“Of course. Classic dysfunction.” I pinch the gauzy fabric of my dress between two fingers, concentrating on the rough cat’s-tongue texture instead of the way my nipples are aching. “But in the end, I’m glad I went through that when I did. I got the crazy out of the way when I was young, saw a therapist my senior year of high school, and have had much healthier relationships ever since.”

Zack arches a brow, and I laugh.

“Even Fernando,” I insist. “We didn’t start fighting all the time until I made it clear I was serious about trying to have a baby this year, with or without his assistance. Before that, he was almost never mean.”

“Still no excuse for it.” Zack squeezes my thigh before adding in an apologetic voice, “I’m not judging, though. I’ve had my share of bad endings. Sometimes people change when things stop going according to plan. Their plan, anyway.”

“Right,” I say, nodding. “That’s what happened with Fernando. He couldn’t understand why my plan wasn’t matching up with his plan. It drove him crazy that I didn’t want to get married or that I’d even consider having a baby with him outside of a legal arrangement that would guarantee the baby had a father.”

Zack makes a dubious sound. “Your baby would have still had a father. Fernando would have been the father, whether you were married or not.”

“Exactly. Thank you.” I karate chop the air. “See, you get it.”

Zack shrugs. “Unless he fucked up and lost custody like my parents, he would have had every legal right and obligation that you did. No marriage necessary.”

It’s a perfect opening, so perfect that my heart races and my palms start to sweat.

I shouldn’t do this now.

This isn’t the time or the place.

I should wait until we’re at dinner, sharing a relaxing drink, and then spring it on him casually, reasonably.

Instead, I find myself blurting out, “Though we could have signed something before the baby was born to ensure he wasn’t legally obligated. I mean, that wouldn’t have worked with Fernando because he wanted a future with me, not just a fling or whatever, but some people do make other arrangements.” My tongue slips out to dampen my suddenly dry lips. “Say, for example, a woman desperately wanted to get pregnant, but the man she was casually sleeping with for a couple of weeks didn’t want a baby.”

Zack cuts a sharp look my way, making my heart slam even faster, but I force myself to keep going. I started this, so I might as well finish it and get all the insanity out at once. “There are documents those two people could sign to make sure the father never had to pay child support or be involved in the baby’s life in any way if he didn’t want to be. You can even make secrecy a part of the agreement, so the child will never be able to find out who his father is, no matter what.”

Zack glances my way, then back at the road.

My way, then back at the road.

My way, back at the road, until I’m on the verge of begging him to say something when finally, he asks in a stunned voice, “Are you serious?”

The hope flower in my chest shrivels, and its petals droop.

“I know, I’m crazy,” I mumble. “I’m sorry. I knew you’d think I was