Rock Me Deeper (Licks of Leather #5) - Jenna Jacob Page 0,81
He wasn’t her usual dealer, but some junkie she picked up on the street that day. His blue eyes were glassy. He grinned at me and said, ‘I think she’s dead.’ Then he started waving another syringe in the air and laughed, saying she picked the wrong one…she picked the one with drain cleaner by accident.”
Syd wiped his tears and drew in a deep breath. “I was fifteen and had moved into another new foster home…I think that one was my eleventh, maybe twelfth by then. I don’t remember. Anyway, that’s when I finally found that scrawny piece of shit with the stringy blond hair again. I’d been casing all the known drug houses on the north side of town for a couple of years. By fate or divine miracle, I spotted him coming out of a row house. He started laughing, like he’d done the day my mom died. I tamped down my rage, checked the pocket of my jacket, and started following him down the street.
“We met up at a corner and I smiled. The prick didn’t even recognize me, just smiled back. When I asked him where I could shoot up, he asked me what I had. I told him a little bit of this, a little bit of that. But when I told him I had enough smack to share, he damn near started salivating. We walked a couple more blocks to a park, then he sat down behind a brick wall and rolled up his sleeve. I took the same rubber tourniquet he’d tied around my mom’s arm that day and wrapped it nice and tight around his. Then I pulled the syringe, full of drain cleaner, from my pocket, tapped the fat vein in his arm, and shoved the needle in. His eyes grew wide and as he started to convulse, I leaned in close and whispered, ‘You picked the wrong one…you picked the one with drain cleaner, mother fucker.’ As the foam started dripping from his mouth, I caught a glimmer of recognition in his eyes before he finally stopped breathing.”
Syd lowered his head and exhaled a deep breath. His shoulders drooped as if the weight of the world had been lifted off them. And in many ways, it had.
My heart was still breaking for him, but I quickly wiped my tears, and climbed onto his lap. He tensed and lifted his chin as I wrapped my arms around him once more. Ignoring the fear and uncertainty crawling across his face, I pressed my lips to his and kissed him with all the love and conviction overflowing inside me. Kissed him until he pried me from his lips.
“Stop, Caris. I-I’m not a good man. At least, not good enough for you.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit,” he argued.
“It is. I’m not a good woman, either, Syd. Nowhere near good enough for you.”
“Now that’s bullshit! You’ve never killed a man. I’ve killed two.”
“Those two weren’t men. They were monsters. You’ve done the world a favor. Why are you beating yourself up?”
“I-I killed them, Caris!”
“I know! Do you think I’m going to stop loving you because you killed those bastards?”
“Yes. No. I…I don’t know.”
“Then let me spell it out for you. The answer is no. N.O. When I saw you laid out on your belly, gun aimed on Zattman, I wanted to bolt from the lodge and kiss you senseless. Of course, I also wanted to take a two-by-four and smack you upside the head and knock some sense into you for scaring ten years off my life. But mostly I wanted to pepper your gorgeous face with kisses and thank you for risking your perfect life to save my nothing one.”
“Whoa.” He cupped my chin and held me in place as his angry eyes bored into mine. “Don’t you ever say your life is nothing, or I will fire your ass up so hard—”
“Compared to yours, living the life of a rock god, mine really is nothing. But that’s okay, because it’s my life.” I took a deep breath and tamped down the sob rumbling up from my chest. “Now that Zattman’s dead, it’s time for you to continue living out your dream, and for me to go back to Trudy’s.”
“If you think I’m just going to wave bye while you hop a plane back to Diamond City, you’re out of your beautiful, stubborn skull, angel,” he scoffed dryly.
I cupped his face as my chin began to quiver. “The whole world knows you as Syd Wilson. If