He lowered his hand to his sword. “What? Where! You have her captive?”
“No,” Egwene said. “She’s the assassin.”
“You know this?”
“I know Mesaana is here; I’ve dreamed that it is true. She hides among us. Now, four Aes Sedai, dead? It’s her, Gawyn. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
He bit off questions. He knew very little of Dreaming, but knew she had the Talent. It was said to be like Foretelling.
“I haven’t told the entire Tower,” Egwene continued. “I worry that if they knew one of the sisters around them is secretly one of the Forsaken, it would divide us all again, as under Elaida. We’d all be suspicious of one another.
“It’s bad enough now, with them thinking Black sisters are Traveling in to commit murders, but at least that doesn’t make them suspicious of one another. And maybe Mesaana will think that I’m not aware it is her. But there, that’s the secret you begged to know. It’s not a Black sister we hunt, but one of the Forsaken.”
It was daunting to consider—but no more so than the Dragon Reborn walking the land. Light, a Forsaken in the Tower seemed more plausible than Egwene being the Amyrlin Seat! “We’ll deal with it,” he said, sounding far more confident than he felt.
“I have sisters searching the histories of everyone in the Tower,” Egwene said. “And others are watching for suspicious words or actions. We’ll find her. But I don’t see how we can make the women any more secure without inciting an even more dangerous panic.”
“Warders,” Gawyn said firmly.
“I will think on it, Gawyn. For now, there is something I need of you.”
“If it is within my power, Egwene.” He took a step toward her. “You know that.”
“Is that so?” she asked dryly. “Very well. I want you to stop guarding my door at night.”
“What? Egwene, no!”
She shook her head. “You see? Your first reaction is to challenge me.”
“It is the duty of a Warder to offer challenge, in private, where his Aes Sedai is concerned!” Hammar had taught him that.
“You are not my Warder, Gawyn.”
That brought him up short.
“Besides,” Egwene said, “you could do little to stop one of the Forsaken. This battle will be fought by sisters, and I am being very careful with the wards I set. I want my quarters to look inviting. If she tries to attack me, perhaps I can surprise her with an ambush.”
“Use yourself as bait?” Gawyn was barely able to get the words out. “Egwene, this is madness!”
“No. It’s desperation. Gawyn, women I am responsible for are dying. Murdered in the night, in a time when you yourself said we will need every woman.”
For the first time, fatigue showed through her mask, a weariness of tone and a slight slump to her back. She folded her hands in front of her, suddenly seeming worn.
“I have sisters researching everything we can find about Mesaana,” Egwene continued. “She’s not a warrior, Gawyn. She’s an administrator, a planner. If I can confront her, I can defeat her. But we must find her first. Exposing myself is only one of my plans—and you are right, it is dangerous. But my precautions have been extensive.”
“I don’t like it at all.”
“Your approval is not required.” She eyed him. “You will have to trust me.”
“I do trust you,” he said.
“All I ask is that you show it for once.”
Gawyn gritted his teeth. Then he bowed to her and left the study, trying—and failing—to keep the door from shutting too hard when he pulled it closed. Silviana gave him a disapproving look as he passed her.
From there, he headed for the training grounds despite his discomfort with them. He needed a workout with the sword.
Egwene let out a long sigh, sitting back, closing her eyes. Why was it so hard to keep her feelings in check when dealing with Gawyn? She never felt as poor an Aes Sedai as she did when speaking with him.