“So you say.” She sniffed. “She has been switched seven times — seven! — for trying to sneak to your bed. She would not persist like that without some encouragement. She faces Far Dareis Mai justice, and she is no concern of even the Car'a'carn. Take that as your lesson for today on our customs. And remember that you belong to my nearsister!” Without letting him get a word in, she stalked out wearing such a look that he thought Isendre might not survive if Aviendha caught up to her.
Letting out a long breath, he got up long enough to put the tray and its wine in a corner of the room. He was not about to drink anything Isendre brought him.
Seven times she's tried to reach me? She must have learned that he interceded for her; no doubt to her way of thinking, if he was willing to do that for a smoky look and a smile, what might he do for more? He shivered at the thought as much as the increasing cold. He would rather have a scorpion in his bed. If the Maidens failed to convince her, he might tell her what he knew about her; that should put an end to any schemes.
Snuffing the lamps, he crawled onto his pallet in the dark, still booted and fully dressed, and fumbled around until he had pulled all of the blankets over him. Without the fire, he suspected he really would be grateful to Aviendha before morning. Setting the wards of Spirit that shielded his dreams from intrusion was almost automatic to him now, but even as he did it, he chuckled to himself. He could have gotten into bed and then put out the lamps, with the Power. It was the simple things that he never thought of doing with the Power.
For a time he lay waiting for his body's heat to warm the inside of the blankets. How the same place could be so hot by day and so cold by night was beyond him. Sticking one hand under his coat, he fingered the halfhealed scar on his side. That wound, the one that Moiraine could never completely Heal, was what would kill him, eventually. He was sure of it. His blood on the rocks of Shayol Ghul. That was what the Prophecies said.
Not tonight. I won't think of that tonight. I have a little time yet. But if the seals can be shaved with a knife, now, do they still hold as strongly...? No. Not tonight.
The inside of the blankets was becoming a little warmer, and he shifted around, trying and failing to find a comfortable way to lie. I should have washed, he thought drowsily. Egwene was probably in a warm sweat tent right that minute. Half the time he used one, a fistful of Maidens tried to come in with him — and nearly rolled on the ground laughing when he insisted on them staying outside. It was bad enough having to undress and dress in the steam.
Sleep finally came, and with it, safely protected dreams, safe from the Wise Ones or anyone else. Not protected from his own thoughts, though. Three women invaded them continually. Not Isendre, except in a brief nightmare that nearly woke him. By turns he dreamed of Elayne, and Min, and Aviendha, by turns and together. Only Elayne had ever looked at him as a man, but all three saw him as who he was, not what he was. Aside from the nightmare, they were all pleasant dreams.
Chapter 5
(Flame of Tar Valon)
Among the Wise Ones
Standing as close as she could to the small fire in the middle of the tent, Egwene still shivered as she poured water from the generous teakettle into a wide, bluestriped bowl. She had lowered the sides of the tent, but cold seeped through the colorful layered rugs covering the ground, and all the fire's heat seemed to rush up and out of the smoke hole in the middle of the tent roof, leaving only the smell of the burning cow dung. Her teeth wanted to chatter.
Already the steam from the water was beginning to fade; she embraced saidar for a moment and channeled Fire to heat it more. Amys or Bair would probably have washed in it cold, though in fact they always took sweat baths. So I'm not as tough as they are. I did not grow up in the Waste. I don't have to freeze to death and wash in cold water if I don't want to. She still felt guilty as she lathered a cloth with a piece of lavenderscented soap bought from Hadnan Kadere. The Wise Ones had never asked her to do differently, but it still felt like cheating.
Letting go of the True Source made her sigh with remorse. Even trembling with cold, she laughed softly at her own foolishness. The wonder of being filled with the Power, the wondrous rush of life and awareness, was its own danger. The more you drew on saidar, the more you wanted to draw, and without selfdiscipline you eventually drew more than you could handle and either died or stilled yourself. And that was nothing to laugh at.
That's one of your biggest faults, she lectured herself firmly. You always want to do more than you're supposed to. You ought to wash in cold water; that would teach you selfdiscipline. Only there was so much to learn, and it sometimes seemed a lifetime would be too short to learn it. Her teachers were always so cautious, whether Wise Ones or Aes Sedai in the Tower; it was hard to hold back when she knew that in so many ways she already outstripped them. I can do more than they realize.
A blast of freezing air hit her, swirling smoke from the fire about the tent, and a woman's voice said, “If it pleases you —”
Egwene jumped, yelping shrilly before managing to get out, “Shut that!” She hugged herself to stop from capering. “Get in or get out, but shut it!” All that effort to be warm, and now she was icy goose bumps from head to toe!
The whiterobed woman shuffled into the tent on her knees and let the tent flap drop. She kept her eyes downcast, her hands folded meekly; she would have done the same if Egwene had hit her instead of just shouting. “If it pleases you,” she said softly, “the Wise One Amys sent me to bring you to the sweat tent.”
Wishing she could stand on top of the fire, Egwene groaned. The Light burn Bair and her stubbornness! If not for the whitehaired old Wise One, they could be in rooms in the city instead of tents on the edge of it. I could have a room with a proper fireplace. And a door. She was willing to bet that Rand did not have to put up with people wandering in on him whenever they wanted. Rand bloody Dragon al'Thor snaps his fingers, and the Maidens jump like serving girls. I'll wager they've found him a real bed, instead of a pallet on the ground. She was sure that he got a hot bath every night. The Maidens probably haul buckets of hot water up to his rooms. I'll bet they even found him a proper copper bathtub.
Amys, and even Melaine, had been amenable to Egwene's suggestion, but Bair had put her foot down, and they acquiesced like gai'shain. Egwene supposed that with Rand bringing so much change, Bair wanted to hold on to as much of the old ways as she could, but she wished the woman could have chosen something else to be intractable over.
There was no thought of refusing. She had promised the Wise Ones to forget that she was Aes Sedai — the easy part, since she was not — and do exactly as she was told. That was the hard part; she had been away from the Tower long enough to become her own mistress again. But Amys had told her flatly that dreamwalking was dangerous even after you knew what you were about and far more so until then. If she would not obey in the waking world, they could not trust her to obey in the dream, and they would not take the responsibility. So she did chores right along with Aviendha, accepted chastisement with as good a grace as she could muster, and hopped whenever Amys or Melaine or Bair said frog. In a manner of speaking. None of them had ever seen a frog. Not that they'll want anything but for me to hand them their tea. No, it would be Aviendha's turn to do that tonight.
For a moment she considered donning stockings, but finally just bent to slip on her shoes. Sturdy shoes, suitable for the Waste; she rather regretted the silk slippers she had worn in Tear. “What is your name?” she asked, trying to be companionable.
“Cowinde” was the docile reply.Egwene sighed. She kept trying to be friends with the gai'shain, but they never responded. Servants were one thing she had not had a chance to get used to, though of course gai'shain were not precisely servants. “You were a Maiden?”A quick, fierce flash of deep blue eyes told her that her guess was correct, but just as quickly they lowered again. “I am gai'shain. Before and after are not now, and only now exists.”
“What is your sept and clan?” Usually there was no need to ask, not even with gai'shain.
“I serve the Wise One Melaine of the Jhirad sept, of the Goshien Aiel.”
Trying to choose between two cloaks, a stout brown woolen and a blue quilted silk she had purchased from Kadere — the merchant had sold everything in his wagons to make room for Moiraine's freight, and at very good prices — Egwene paused to frown at the woman. That was no proper response. She had heard that a form of the bleakness had taken some gai'shain; when their year and a day was done, they simply refused to put off the robe. “When is your time up?” she asked.
Cowinde crouched lower, almost huddling over her knees. “I am gai'shain.”
“But when will you be able to return to your sept, to your own hold?”
“I am gai'shain,” the woman hoarsely told the rugs in front of her face. “If the answer displeases, punish me, but I can give no other.”
“Don't be silly,” Egwene said sharply. “And straighten up. You aren't a toad.”