Road Tripped (Satan's Devils MC Utah #1) - Manda Mellett Page 0,64

Utah, maybe I should try him out, get him out of my system once and for all.

What message would that send though? I’ve deliberately avoided going anywhere near my brothers, knowing that if I gave it up to any of them, I could end up being treated like a sweet butt. That wouldn’t be bad in itself, I’d often welcome the chance for a release, and most of them probably wouldn’t disappoint. But some of them wouldn’t turn me on at all, and feelings would be hurt if I turned anyone down. I’d always thought it much easier to say no to everyone and retain the strict boundaries between us.

If Road’s going to transfer, my exclusions have to include Road.

Damn it.

I roll over and beat the pillow into submission, then rest my head back down.

You’re safe, I remind myself.

But Road’s closeness, the sweet smell of his breath, the warmth extruding from his skin which I can feel even though our bodies don’t touch, taunts me. Why do I find him so darn sexy? To my dismay, I’m having to concentrate to stop my hand moving down and taking care of myself. For real this time.

Think of something different. Mona’s face, when we found her. Think over the mission. What had gone well, what we could do different next time. How we only knew what was happening in the house through Road’s bravery and his quick thinking.

Damn. Stop thinking of the man.

Bikes. Mine could do with an oil change. Yes, think about that.

Eventually, I manage to get my mind off the man who’s probably snoring beside me. My mind quiets, and I drop off.

I’m woken when the mattress dips and then rises. Opening my eyes, I see Road standing, but looking back over his shoulder at me. He mimes washing his face.

“I’ll be fine.” I start sitting up, reaching for my hearing aids, and out of the corner of my eye, catch him bending to pick his jeans up off the floor. When he straightens, I get the glimpse of some impressive looking morning wood.

Mm mmm.

Then I mentally slap myself. Didn’t I just explain to myself what a bad idea sampling Road’s wood would be?

I thought I had, but it hadn’t worked. A girl can dream though. It wouldn’t hurt Road if he didn’t know I was using the thought of him while enjoying myself later with my vibrator.

By the time Road’s back, I’m dressed and ready to hit the bathroom myself. I give him a rise of my chin, then disappear to do what’s necessary. After that, I meet him downstairs with the others, then get caught up in the flurry of morning activity as we get ready to hit the road.

Breakfast is a quick pit stop at a convenience store, then we arrive at the airfield. Preacher goes to do his pre-flight checks on the plane.

I always find flying home anti-climactic. Heading out on a mission, we’re full of anticipation, knowing we’re walking into the unknown. However much information those left back at base will feed us, there’s always a chance something will go wrong. Always a chance of not all of us making it back. All our affairs are in order, Pip insists on that, though on my part it was just a formality and a matter of updating what was already there. Soldiers have to be ready for anything, and I hadn’t lost that habit.

Returning is always to the known, to the familiar. Welcome at first, then I begin to get an itch inside me, willing the time to pass before we’re sent out again.

I live for these missions, and love that, despite my disability, I’ve found a way to make my mark on the world, albeit anonymously. Then that’s not much different to if I had joined the SAS, where no credit is given, and participants aren’t named.

As normal, I turn down my hearing aids and zone out on the plane until I feel it start to descend and the vibration of the engine changing. I open my eyes and watch until the wheels touch down. Then I turn my hearing aids back up and join the world again.

We wait while Preacher talks to the man who makes sure our plane’s able to fly, giving him some kind of report about how the plane handled and what it might need, then, when he’s ready, we go to our bikes.

Hearing aids again turned down, I ride alongside Road, enjoying the feeling of fresh air on my face.