“Nothing I didn’t already know,” Cal says. “That I am wrong for being here, that
it is killing me. That he’ll return to collect me when the time is right. That he’s sure
Father is testing me, though he doesn’t know how.” He sighs as he rubs my back.
“He’s seen the knot in my head, how the pieces are all tangled and not making sense.
He saw something in Griggs, but he will not tell me what.”
“Why not?”
Cal chuckles ruefully. “Michael’s always been a stickler for the rules. Since he is
sure this is a test, he does not want to interfere.”
“But he is interfering,” I remind him. “He’s trying to make you leave.” “He’s conflicted,” Cal says. “He doesn’t understand what Father wants, and only
knows what he’s been told in the past. It’s confusing him. He’s frustrated.” “He can go fuck himself,” I hiss angrily. “Tell him to go away and leave us
alone. Or better yet, I’ll do it myself. He wants to talk to me, right? I’ll make him go
away and never come back.”
I can’t help but notice the way Cal quirks his lips at the sides, like he’s trying to
stay serious but can’t help but be amused by the tiny human in front of him who
wants to go kick an archangel’s ass clear across the county. I try to scowl at him, but
don’t succeed.
“And then he’ll leave?” I ask. “Without you?”
Cal nods eventually, though it looks forced.
“Then you get the rest of them inside,” I tell him. “I’ll go talk to the big, bad
Michael and see what the hell he wants.”
“I’m not leaving you alone with him,” he snaps. “You can forget that right now.” I can’t help the grin that follows. I stand on my tiptoes and brush his lips with
mine. “I can take care of myself,” I say, as if I’m not talking about an angel of God.
“Please. Just do as I ask.”
Cal rolls his eyes, an action I think again is so unbefitting an angel, so human,
and my breath catches in my chest. Something warm lights itself at the base of my
spine and roars up me until all I can hear is a deep-pitched buzz in my ears. I feel
alive and powerful. Even more, I feel awake, truly and completely awake, for the
first time in years. I will do anything for this man (for that is what he is becoming, I
think) in front of me. I will do anything to save him.
I walk away from him before he can see this in my eyes.
Michael hasn’t moved, and I come to stand beside him, leaving enough distance
between us so we are not touching. If he wants to do his weird hand chest zap mojo
thing, he can reach out easily, but I don’t think his request to speak to me is about
that. I glance behind me to see Cal ushering everyone inside, over the protests of my
mother. The others go inside Big House, but she refuses, sitting herself down on the
patio defiantly, watching Michael and me with a guarded expression. Cal does what I
thought he would and sits in the wicker chair beside her. They do not speak. “What do you want from me?” I ask the angel.
“Walk with me,” he says and turns toward Little House. I think to hesitate, to say
we need to stay in the light, but then I think better of it. I glance back at Big House
and see Cal standing again near the porch steps, his big arms crossed over his chest. I
shake my head once at him, and he nods but doesn’t move to sit. I can feel his gaze
on me as I turn to follow Michael.
My steps are slow, the pace set by Michael. He seems to enjoy looking around in
the dark, staring up at the stars, reaching out to brush his fingers along the trunk of a
large tree, his fingers coming away with sap that oozes like black oil. He brings his
hand to his face and inhales the scent. It hurts my heart to see, though I can’t say
why.
“I was not the first angel,” he says as he rubs the pitch against his slacks, “but I
was one of the Firsts. Do you understand?”
“Yeah. I think so. Metatron was first, right?”
Michael stops and squats on his heels, rubbing his fingers along the grass. “Yes.
I must admit to being surprised that you know that name.”
“Cal mentioned it once. Said no one had seen him for a long time.” “Longer than you could possibly imagine,” Michael