I shrug out of his grasp and walk to the back of the plane.
"Ma belle!"
"Let them go, Malin. We have a lot to discuss in private," Gustave says.
Bernadette closes the divider, and we sit in armchairs next to each other.
"Please. Don't lie to me. Tell me whatever I need to know. I won't crumble to pieces."
Understanding enters her eyes. "I see your strength, but this is not for the faint of heart."
I exhale the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I will not be a coward. I have hidden my entire life from things. I refuse to do it anymore."
She hesitates then asks, "What made you hide?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Malin...does he know?"
"Yes."
She studies my face. "I see."
"Why would I be worth so much money?"
Bernadette studies my face. "You look virginal. Young. Innocence isn't something you can bring out in someone. It is a rare quality. And your eyes..."
"What about them?"
"Every emotion you have shows up in them. Men will pay big money to watch your every reaction while they break you in."
Break me in.
My insides quiver. "But Malin will do it?"
"Yes. But you know you will be in front of a room of men and women?"
I take a deep breath. I will only be Malin's. He won't let anyone harm me. "Yes. Malin explained."
She puts her hand on my thigh. My skin crawls for a moment, but I breathe through it. She won't hurt me.
"No part of you won't be exposed, Emilia."
I fold my hands on my lap and squeeze them together. "You mean I'll be naked?"
"In all ways. Even when you have clothes on, you will feel bare. All eyes will be on you the entire night. Every man will be there to see a new woman be broken, begging, and crying for her new master."
That won't be a problem. I beg Malin all the time during sex.
She tilts her head. "It's not what you are thinking, Emilia."
"I… I don't understand."
"You must come from a place where you don't fight him, but you still do not want to give him the satisfaction of enjoying his touch. If you beg too early, all will know this is not real. There must be some hatred in your heart when this begins, or you will not survive the night. Your eyes must show your hatred. Malin must see your hatred for him. No one must see the intimate connection you have until the night progresses. It's part of the breaking process. When you succumb to him, there must be a shift. The room must witness it."
What if I fail? Oh God. What am I getting myself into?
Don't be weak. Have courage for once in your life.
Bernadette pauses for several minutes.
My gut flips faster.
She continues, "There may be times you don't understand why he does something to you. Expectations are on you but also him. He needs to gain the total trust of the Global Leaders. They cannot see him as a fraud. If they do, they will take you, break you in at the whorehouse, and auction you off to another man. I've seen it happen before."
I swallow down the bile rising in my throat. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes. Anything."
"If Malin doesn't take me, he will have to choose another woman, correct?"
Her face hardens. "There are no more options. If it is not you, he must cross the line, or we will never overthrow the Global Leaders. The information we need to take them down is in that room. The only way for the Global Leaders to give their full trust to him is to watch him break a woman. And you..." She scans my face and body. "You will be extraordinary for others to watch him break. Anyone who doubts him no longer will. A man with a heart would not be able to look you in the eyes for hours if it was the first time being with you. Especially knowing you do not want him and are forced to be there. They wouldn't sustain the longevity of what needs to happen."
You've run your entire life. This is not the time to escape. Malin needs you to be strong. He won't admit it, but he does. "Tell me how I help him."
"I have a little over two weeks to train you if you are going to do this."