you?" I whisper. The question rolls out of my mouth with no analysis, and heat scorches my face.
His face hardens. "Always."
This man in front of me could hurt me worse than any man who ever has. He could break me in two with his bare hands. The aura around him exudes confidence. I'm pretty sure he's a trained killer. His gun sits on his hip. Death surrounded us at the pit. Even in the darkness, I could see the outline of corpses on the ground around us. He played his role in it. I don't question that. Continuing to be around him, letting him touch me in any way, and going down a path to explore this new feeling and sense of comfort I have around him is a risk. Besides the physical, he could crack something else. In thirty-five years, no one has possessed it. My body may have been Zaka's to steal, but no man has made my gut stir with flutters or ignited the zings rushing through my blood every moment I look at or am near him.
He could destroy my heart.
I should run as fast as I can.
"O-okay. Later tonight."
Relief fills his face. "When did you eat last?"
"Yesterday."
His lips turn up. "Want to have dinner with me?"
Is he asking me out?
I'm in the jungle in a tent with a dozen other people around me. Time to come back to planet earth.
"Sure. Thanks."
He winks and stands. "Let me help clean up the other women, and I'll be right back."
I watch him with the other women, listening to his deep voice and staring at his T-shirt that moves with every muscle's flex. My sex throbs with growing intensity. I squirm on the bed.
Is this what people mean when they say your panties are in a twist?
He doesn't call anyone else ma belle. My ego soars, which is something that doesn't happen very often.
Malin finishes putting a bandage on Vanessa. He comes back to me and cautiously sits down by my side. "Are you hungry?"
"A little," I admit.
He pulls something in a package out of his pocket. "This is better than anything in this camp."
I try to stop smiling, wondering how to play it cool. But I'm clueless, like always.
Malin rips it open, breaks off a piece, and hands it to me.
I take a bite, chew, and swallow. "Mmm. Tastes like a candy bar."
"It's a concentrated bar of macros. This is my favorite one. I snagged it earlier for you." He winks again.
He got it just for me?
"Are you going to eat? I thought you said, 'have dinner with me?'"
He breaks a small piece off then pops it in his mouth. He nods for me to eat while he chews.
We eat silently. My sister paces the tent, leaves, then comes back in and talks with Vanessa. Andre steps into the tent, and she leaves with him.
What is she freaking out about?
"Are you okay, ma belle?" Malin quietly asks.
I turn to him. "Mmhmm. Thanks for dinner."
"Anytime. Do you want to try out my night vision goggles now? See if you think they are all they are cracked up to be?"
Alone in the dark with a man.
Anything could happen.
Naomi will have a fit if I'm gone and she doesn't know where I went.
"Sure."
"Good. But we are only going if you are all right with me carrying you. The ground is muddy and full of sticks." He raises his eyebrows.
"Ummm...okay."
He picks me up in a swoop.
I secure my hands around his thick neck.
"You learned quickly," he teases while stepping out of the tent.
Thank God it's dark and he can't see my face right now.
I need to stop blushing like a schoolgirl.
We go behind a second tent, and he sets me on a log. He takes his goggles and holds them in front of me. "I'll make you a deal."
"What's that?"
"You let me see where your bruises are. I'll put the arnica on while you wear the goggles."
My heart thumps quicker. "Ummm..."
"Bruises can lead to internal bleeding. And whatever they did to you today, your body hasn't fully felt it yet. The pain will be worse tomorrow. The arnica will help all this."
I take a deep breath. Be the woman I want to be and not the weak girl.
I clear my throat. "I'll have to take your T-shirt off."
His Adam's apple bobs. It's dark out, but I see it in the moonlight. "I'll be respectful. I promise."
Courage is something I've never had. Where it comes from, I'm not sure.