Risking It All (Kingston Brothers #4) - Isabel Lucero Page 0,50
with a forced laugh.
“Well, shit. You should’ve started with that. Text me whenever.”
Before I leave, I grab my phone and then head out the back door of the building and jump into my car. I plug in the phone and start the car. When the screen lights up, I read through all my texts.
Fuck. I forgot yesterday was the day I was supposed to hang out with Ali and his friends. We never talked about it again after Jordy invited me. I assumed Ali would remind me, but I was already in the studio without my phone when he texted saying they were out.
I send him a quick message before I start the drive to my hotel.
Me: Hey, sorry I missed your messages. I was holed up with the guys and didn’t have my phone. Call me.
I get to the hotel, order some room service, and take a shower. Once I’m dressed, I grab my breakfast burrito to go and eat it in the car as I drive to Elijah’s.
Ali still hasn’t responded.
Elijah looks slightly confused when he opens the door for me, because I didn’t tell him I was coming over beforehand.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks, stepping back to let me in.
“Not much. Sorry I didn’t call first.”
He scoffs. “You don’t have to call first. This will always be your home. You okay? Want some coffee?”
“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”
In the kitchen, I sit down at the island and wait for him to finish pouring the coffee. He puts a mug next to me and chooses to stand across from me on the other side of the island as he sips his.
“So, what’s goin’ on?”
I take a deep breath. “I’m going to tell the guys soon. Maybe tomorrow.”
He nods. “That’s good, right?”
“I’ve had a few opportunities to tell them already, but when I open my mouth to say it, I freeze up. It’s not that I think they’re gonna hate me or anything. I don’t think any of them are homophobes, but I worry they’re gonna be concerned about the band’s public image. Which I can’t blame them for. What if I tell them and they would prefer I keep it to myself for the sake of the band?”
Elijah takes a sip before putting it on the counter. “You’ve been friends with these guys for a long time. Almost fifteen years now. Do you think that’s how they’ll feel?”
I sigh, shrugging one shoulder. “I don’t think so, but you can never be too sure. I was going to tell them last night, but we were so caught up with making music, I just didn’t.”
“I think they’ll react better than you think, and I understand your reservations, but you have to ask yourself this: Is it worth the risk? Are you willing to risk potentially losing your friends and fans so you can be yourself?”
I let out a short laugh. “Isn’t it ridiculous to even have to ask a question like that?”
He nods. “Yes, it is.”
I rotate the mug, staring into the black liquid as I mull over my thoughts.
“What does Alejandro think of all this?” Elijah asks.
My head snaps up. “What do you mean?”
“About whether you come out or not. Has he said anything? If you’re going to be together, he’ll be thrust into the spotlight.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I didn’t think about that.” I sigh, letting my shoulders drop. “Me and Ali stopped talking because I wouldn’t come out. Well, that’s part of it. Like I said before, I really messed up. We had plans to come out when we were eighteen, but I chickened out. I kept convincing him to wait, then I’d leave him here alone while I was out with the band. I came home one time when we were twenty, and he had already come out and had a boyfriend.
“He ends up breaking up with the guy to go back into a secret relationship with me, which was mainly us hooking up when I was around. I knew there was a possibility we were gonna get signed and I didn't tell him. I kept it from him until the day before we left for New York. You remember, right?”
Elijah nods.
“He was pissed. He felt like I was making decisions for both of us. I was stringing him along because I wanted to be with him, but I wasn’t ready to be with him publicly. I hurt him, I lied, and I turned my back on our plans.