the anger in them both thrill and infuriate her at the same time? “You don’t—”
“Hell I don’t. You’re mine. And I’m yours.”
With that, the thrill drowned out everything else. She took his wrists as his mouth came down on hers, felt his pulse beat in time with her own.
She eased back, brushed her fingers down his cheek. “That’s the point. So help me, please, help me try. What would you need to hear when someone you loved couldn’t love you back the same way? I’ve hurt him, Duncan. What should I tell him to ease the hurt?”
“Damn it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets again. “Tell him the truth, and don’t use any bullshit like ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’”
Baffled, she threw up her hands. “But it is me.”
“Don’t go there, it’s insulting. Don’t pull the can’t-we-just-be-friends line out, either.”
“But—”
“Did you ask for my help here?” he shot back.
“Yes.” Still, she raked her fingers through her hair, twice. “Yes. All right.”
“Just don’t do the let’s-be-pals crap unless you want to stick a knife in his ribs. Tell him straight. He matters, he’s always going to matter. And for Christ’s sake, don’t expect him to snap back like a bowstring.”
“Okay. All right. I’ll go to The Beach, talk to him now.”
“He didn’t go with his crew. He and Mallick flashed out.”
“Oh. Oh, I know where he is. If you could get Tonia, we’ll talk when I get back.”
“And go dragon hunting.”
“Yeah. I need to try to fix this first.” She laid a hand on his cheek again. “Thanks.”
He dragged her in for another kiss, and if it was staking a claim, so the hell what? “I’m not going to say anytime because this better be the last time.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t leave room for hope—it’ll just hurt more.”
She nodded, stepped back, flashed.
“Because who the hell could ever get over you?” he murmured, then turned when Simon came out of the house, gave him a cool-eyed stare.
“Looks like we need to have a conversation.”
Though he’d rather have faced a horde of DUs, Duncan braced himself. “I guess we do.”
* * *
Fallon walked through the green light of the faerie glade toward the pool where Mick sat cross-legged, brooding into the mists rising over the water. He bounded to his feet, and when he saw her, the hand on the hilt of his short sword fell away.
“You didn’t say good-bye.”
“You were busy.”
“Mick.” When she started toward him, he stiffened, so she stopped. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” His shrug was a sharp jerk of movement. “For not being with me like you are with Duncan?”
“Don’t ask me to be sorry for loving him, because I can’t, but I’m sorry it hurts you.”
“Why him?” Mick demanded while the pixie lights blinked nervously in the green shadows. “Why not me?”
The truth, Fallon reminded herself, and found it. “Because what I feel for you is different. It’s real and it’s deep and it’s true, but it’s not what I feel for him.”
“So, I’m just your good old pal Mick,” he said bitterly.
“You’re the one who was with me when I found each of my spirit animals. You’re the one who made me laugh when my heart ached for my family. You’re the boy who gave me my first kiss, and the man who fights with me. You gave me my first tribe outside of my family. You’re an essential in my life. You always will be.”
“But you’re never going to love me.”
“I’m always going to love you. You know that.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, it’s not. But it’s real and deep and true.”
“I thought maybe there was a chance.” He looked away from her, out over the misted water. “Now I know there’s not.” He turned back, met her eyes, but kept a wall between them.
“I’ll fight with my last breath for The One. But I can’t be around Fallon right now. Mallick will get me back to The Beach, and we’ll be ready to strike New York when you say. You could pass any orders through Jojo for now.”
“All right. I— If you and what you feel didn’t matter, I wouldn’t have come. If you and what you feel didn’t matter, I wouldn’t go. Blessed be, Mick.”
She didn’t go directly home, but called to Laoch. She took an hour for herself to clear her head, and her heart.
She flew over fields, some fallow with winter, others overgrown with neglect. And over roads and highways with cars and trucks long since abandoned, bridges crumbling into rivers. Herds of deer and wild