almost as well as I knew myself and could tell something between us was off, but I refused to believe the end of what we had was near.
I told myself she was just stressed out and worried about the fact we were soon going to different colleges and spending a lot of time apart from one another. Young love was already unreliable and tricky to navigate. When you added the hurdle of a long distance to the mix, it seemed almost destined to fail. I tried to reassure her everything would be fine; after all, I was older than her and had already been in college a year. Nothing changed between us while I waited not so patiently for her to finish high school. I foolishly thought she would apply and get accepted to my school so we could stay together. It never occurred to me that she was only going to apply to schools out of state. I was unaware that she had her heart set on leaving not only me but also our hometown for years. When she finally came clean and let me know she was moving to California in the fall, I was stunned but still optimistic that our relationship would survive. After all, she was my first love. I was willing to sacrifice and suffer whatever it took to keep her in my life.
Royce didn’t feel the same.
I felt blindsided by both the breakup and the revelation that she was always planning to move halfway across the country. Suddenly the adorable little girl who grew up following my every step and who had effortlessly stolen my heart with her sweet, cheerful, innocent demeanor seemed like a total stranger who never cared about me the way I cared about her.
It was easy enough to argue with her when she said we weren’t a good match.
It was impossible to fight against her when she told me she wasn’t happy being with me and needed a change.
I wanted to tell her we just needed some time apart. I had faith in my ability to change her mind and prove to her that we belonged together. But the look in her eyes when she ended things was definite. This wasn’t a rash decision on her part. It was something she gave a lot of thought to and had clearly made up her mind about.
She didn’t want to be with me anymore, and I was left adrift and discombobulated.
Heartbreak wasn’t something I had a lot of experience with.
I was the kind of guy who typically got what I wanted and excelled at whatever I put my mind to. I graduated at the top of my class in high school. Got into my first choice of college and was in the starting line up my first college football game. My parents had a wall full of trophies and accolades I’d earned over the years. They were always proud of what I’d accomplished, even though they had never pushed me to be perfect. All they wanted was for me to be happy, so they supported me regardless of how hard I pushed myself.
I was popular and well-liked among my peers, and as one of the oldest members of my tight-knit inner circle of relatives and longtime family friends who were all similar in age, I was often the voice of reason and most responsible member of the group. I never had a problem getting close to members of the opposite sex, but there was only one I wanted to keep and call mine.
But she no longer wanted me, and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself now.
It was my first time being rejected, and I could admit I wasn’t handling it well… at all.
I glanced down at my phone, which had been ringing and pinging with messages nonstop for the last several hours. I wanted to turn the damn thing off, but there was a part of me that refused to believe I’d been dumped and I waited for each call to show my ex’s info. She never popped up on the screen, but my mom called no less than twenty times. My dad no less than ten, and my best friend, who also happened to be my cousin, was sending a text every fifteen minutes like clockwork.
I ignored them all, but eventually, the one and the only person I couldn’t ignore even if I wanted to called, and I finally caved and answered the phone.