blue heated gaze at me. “Closure? Nothing about the past few months has felt like closure Addy. I know I’m not crazy. We work. We’ve always worked. And if for one minute you could let go of the past, if you could see the future that I do, you wouldn’t be denying us either.”
A terrible taste enters my mouth and my heart races, not sure where it wants to go. Everything is beginning to spin and tilt out of focus. I’m alone, in my apartment with my ex-boyfriend—this is not good.
When I look at Matt, I don’t see love, friendship or trust. I see five years’ worth of pain that I can never get back. Looking at him brings up so much shit that I never want to see again. It’s a reminder that I allowed myself to get lost, that I allowed myself to be weak and I’ll never put myself in that position again.
“Matt, I’ve really moved on.”
He pulls me closer. “Addy, I never intended to be gone forever.” His eyes looked pained and his expression is one of deep regret. I can’t help but feel a slight twinge of sympathy for the man in front of me. If what he’s saying is true, if his marriage really was a farce, it’s quite possible he spent the past five years in as much pain as I was. “I don’t regret leaving you Addison. I did that to make a better life for both of us. Everything I’ve ever done has been for you, for us. But I deeply regret the way I went about building that life.”
His hand grips mine tighter.
Falling back into Matt’s arms isn’t on my radar. Damian and I haven’t had the smoothest start, but I owe it to him, I owe it to myself to give us the best shot I can.
“Addy, my divorce will be final in three months. Give us a chance.” He slips his hand inside his pocket.
“I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you Addison. I’ve never stopped.” He pulls his hand out of his pocket and the sunlight catches the gleam of a diamond. I’m too shocked to say anything. It’s big and shiny. I stand there stunned, no words forming on my tongue as I stare at the beautiful gem he’s holding out to me.
He pulls me into an embrace, my cheek pressed against his chest, breathing in his cologne and feeling his heart hammer against my face. I still see the bright shine of the diamond, feel the soft material of the T-shirt he’s wearing against my skin, yet my mind has left me, possibly my soul as well, both floating on the ceiling staring down at a situation that is so very wrong.
“Marry me, Addison. Marry me in three months, next year, in five years. I don’t care, just please marry me. Come with me to New York, be my family. Help me right the wrong I did to us.”
I pull back and look up at a man I once loved with every part of my being. This is a moment I dreamed about for so long and I can’t believe it’s happening. I don’t want it to happen. The sight of the ring weighs down on my heart. None of this is right. My hands begin to shake as reality closes in. I look down at the diamond then back into the red-rimmed eyes of Matt Bryson. My future, my hope, my dreams all gone in the blink of an eye.
“Matt, I . . . I don’t . . .”
“Don’t give me an answer tonight, Addy. Think about it. Take the ring and think about. Try to remember how good we once were. We could travel the world. You could do everything you never got to. I’d give you anything you ever wanted.”
All I ever wanted was a life with him—a perfectly planned out life that never happened. But I don’t want that life anymore. My life changed directions almost three months ago when a new neighbor moved in and that’s the route I plan to stay on.
“Would you rather use the porta-potty at the county fair or the one at the beach?”
“I think Sweet Pea, that may just be the most disgusting one you’ve asked yet.”
She’s sitting in her white hospital bed, the bottoms of her feet touching in a butterfly position and a big smile on her face. Her large white teeth shining brightly.