gotta get out of here.” Turning away from her, I head to my front door.
“I don’t love him,” she finally says. “But talking to him gives me a sense of closure that I need.”
My hand is on my doorknob, my breaths coming deep and heavy. Not knowing exactly what that means, I don’t have an answer for her. I hear her tentatively walk up behind me, and she places a hand on my shoulder.
It’s impossible not to react to her touch. My heart picks up speed, and my muscles tense. I want to turn around and pin her to this wall, strip all her clothes off, and run my tongue between her legs until she promises me she’ll never let him call her again.
“Damian, my mom abandoned me with no explanation. Matt did the same thing. Do you have any idea what that does to a person?”
Do I? I hated my dad and his fucked up way of living. But he never took off on me. No matter what he did, I knew he loved me. That was something I never questioned. And it hits me; I don’t want Addison to question it either.
I turn around and face her, taking her hand in mine. “Addison, I have no idea what that must have felt like. None at all. But I do know, I’m so in love with you it consumes me. I wake up every day wondering if you love me back, wondering if that past asshole of yours shows up again if you’d go with him. I wonder if your friends like me, I wonder if you’d just move all your shit into my place so I can see you everywhere, not just on your balcony. Last night . . . I’m so sorry about last night. I wish I could tell you everything and one day, I will. But I’m not keeping it from you because I don’t love you or don’t trust you. I feel like I owe it to Megan and in some respects Emily too. Maybe one day I won’t feel that way anymore, but I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I will never leave you wondering what the hell happened to me. I promise, I will never do that to you.”
Yeah, I’m a total stud in and out of the bedroom. I have a face that women love and a body they love even more. I have a shit load of money Addison doesn’t even know the half of it and I can take care of her the rest of her life. But I’m human, and I also have a crap load of insecurities. I just laid them all out on the table. She can either step on them all, rip them in two and crush me, or she can love me back. It’s her call.
She smiles, and my entire universe brightens as she stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. Soft at first and then hard and passionate. “I’m tired of fighting with you, Damian. Let’s go make up.” She doesn’t tell me she loves me back but the way she’s kissing me, the way her fists are clenched in my shirt holding me close to her body—she doesn’t have to say a word. I know exactly how her heart feels.
Damian thinks he loves me, and maybe he does, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t say the words back. It was exactly one week ago today that he professed that love. Now, it’s like a damn broke and he hasn’t been able to stop saying those three words. A part of me wants to tell him I love him too, but it feels like I’m only loving a part of him. Until he trusts me enough to share his entire past with me, until he lets me in, I can’t give him my whole heart, it’s too much of a risk I’m not willing to take.
We’re leaving for Malibu in a few hours. Maybe spending a week away from our daily lives, will give me the clarity I need.
Not having a job to go to everyday, I’ve been able to visit Emily whenever Damian goes, coming up with ways he can work around Thomas, but it’s been hard not having all the information. I’ve kept my promise and not asked any more questions about Emily’s mom, but it hasn’t been an easy promise to keep.
“I love this part of your body.” His fingers are trailing along the curve