“Well, we’re keeping it in the bedroom, making sure we try every one of these positions in the next few weeks, maybe days.” He kisses me again, and all I can think about is the future he keeps mentioning, and it makes me happy. I like talking futures with Damian, even if our talk only consists of our future sex life.
“Can I have my coffee now?” I’m backed against his counter, and he’s officially placed himself between my legs. I can feel his length begin to grow, and I’m not opposed to another round of mind blowing, middle of the day sex. But I need my coffee first and probably something to eat.
My stomach growls, and he smiles against my lips.
Taking a step back, he pours the black liquid into my mug then hands it to me with a warm croissant. I hold the flaky pastry between my fingers and give him a curious look.
“I grabbed a few from the nursing station at the hospital yesterday. It’s all I’ve got at the moment.”
He reaches for his own mug, and I begin to laugh. “You are not going to drink that around me.”
Ignoring me, he pours coffee into a mug that says ‘Dirty Bird’ with a picture of a Peacock prominent on the side. He takes a big sip, sighs out loud then locks his stare with mine. Stepping into my zone, he kisses me on the nose. “The mug stays.”
He kisses my nose one more time and grabs my hand, leading me out to the balcony.
I follow, my coffee and croissant balanced in one hand, as my other is secure in his big grasp. It’s still raining, and it’s cold. Like fifty degrees cold, which for a girl who was born and raised in Southern California might as well mean it’s snowing. But the overhang that covers both our balconies is protecting us from the rain, and it’s nice to be in the fresh air.
Sitting back in his big blue lounge chair, he pulls me down between his legs, my favorite spot in the universe. Nestled right here, my back to his front, his arms wrapped around me. I love this position and even if it were zero degrees outside, this is exactly where I’d want to be.
“Are you going to tell me why Matt called you at six this morning?” My body stills, the only movement the breath coming in and out of my lungs as I attempt to breathe.
I feel guilty, like I’ve been caught cheating, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. But the truth is, I didn’t want Damian to know Matt was still calling me, and I’m uncomfortable having this conversation. Not sure where I stand in Damian’s heart, I’m hesitant to give too much away.
“How do you know he called?”
“I heard it ring right after you fell asleep. It’s hard to miss that ring tone. Is there a reason you don’t want me to know he still contacts you?”
Is there a reason? There must be. I’m not ashamed of my life, it’s mine, the only one I have, and I think I’ve done okay given the circumstances I’ve been thrown into. But I don’t want Matt and Damian colliding. I want to keep them as separate entities, not comparing one to the other. I don’t want Damian worrying that Matt is going to suddenly appear in my life and whisk me away.
“What would the point have been?”
He’s silent, his mug resting on the arm of the chair, his chin grazing the top of my head. His chest expands a few times and I think he’s going to talk, but he doesn’t. I want to know what he’s thinking I want to have this conversation, but I don’t want to fight about Matt. He’s not Damian’s problem—he’s mine. I’m about to tell him this when he finally speaks.
“I don’t want you dating other people, Addison. I want you for myself.”
That is something I could get on board with, but I need more. “What about you?”
He brings his face down to my cheek, his breath warming my skin as he talks. “I told you, I don’t do casual. I’m as monogamous as they come.”
My heart rate increases. I feel like I’m back in high school, wanting to ask a million questions but not wanting to seem naïve or stupid.
Screw it. This is Damian.
“So, are we like . . . boyfriend, girlfriend? I mean, what’s your end game?” The minute it rolls off my tongue I want to