the grass at the park by the beach and staring up at the stars, she’s finally gotten her breathing under control after I made her run the last quarter mile in a sprint. Our arms are side by side, barely touching and with that comment, I take her hand in mine. My heart, which had been scattered the past few days, finally feels at rest as I feel her soft skin in mine. I don’t like that she works for Thomas and I hate that she may be put on Emily’s case, but I’ll figure out a way to make this work. I have to.
“Only when I have something to lose.”
Her thumb begins to run the length of my palm. I sit up on my elbow and stare down at her. “I don’t want to be an asshole.”
Looking in my eyes, her face softens and a small smile lifts the corners of her mouth. “I don’t want you to think I care more about my job than you or Emily.”
Lifting her hand to my lips, I kiss each finger.
“My dad is an asshole. I think the word player was created to define him.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t want to be like my dad.” Staring down into her beautiful eyes, I think she finally understands why I don’t want to just fool around. One day, I want a wife to love and kids to cherish. I want a white picket fence and a golden retriever. I want to give a woman what my dad couldn’t, or wouldn’t, give to my mom. And after Sunday, I want Addison to be the center of that life, my life, our life.
“I have no idea who your dad is Damian, but from the sound of it, you’re nothing like him.”
Lying back in the grass as it crinkles around me, I stare up at the clear dark night. “Every once in a while, when I look in the mirror, it’s my dad I see staring back at me.”
Reed’s the only other person that knows how much I’ve tried to avoid my father’s way of living. I know Addison regrets what happened last weekend, but she deserves to know why I freaked out on her. If I’m ever going to convince her that I’m exactly what her life needs, I need to start trusting her with who I am and why I behave the way I do.
Lifting my arm over her body, she snuggles into my side, her head moving onto my shoulder and her legs entwining with mine. She fits so compactly under my arm, her body melting in my side, and I’m as content as I’ve ever been in my life.
“You’re really taking her there?”
It’s impossible not to smile at the big blue eyes that stare up at me.
“That’s the plan. The show comes to Venice in three weeks.” Emily is looking at my iPad, watching clips from past American Ninja Warrior episodes. The minute I heard they were filming down in Venice Beach, I called in some connections and got two tickets to a show.
It’s been one week since Addison and I began to build back what we once had. One week since I held her in the grass and told her about my father. One week and I want her more now than I ever did before. Maybe it’s because I know exactly what she feels and tastes like. Or because in the few days that I was so mad I lost my fucking mind, and I never want to be that out of control again. Whatever the reason, I’m going to do whatever it takes to win her heart. I’m going to make sure she never wants to hear from that douche bag Matt again and that in the end, she chooses me. Because the reality show she’s entered is called life, and I plan on being her winning prize.
“Do you think she’ll say yes?”
“I’m not giving her a choice to say no. But it’s a surprise, so don’t mention anything if she comes to visit.”
Emily slides her fingers over her mouth like it’s a zipper then flicks her fingers like she’s throwing away a key.
“Nice, I like that promise.” I fist bump her and sit back in my chair.
“Who are you surprising?”
I turn at the sound of the voice that I’d know anywhere. “Mom. What are you doing here?” Standing, I give her a big hug. Fifty-two years old and eight kids later, my mother looks the same as she did when I was