Matt was great in bed. But he’d never delivered anything like what I’d felt last night.
“He asked me to stay.” I start feeling sick from either the pace at which I’d just inhaled my food or the thought of having to face Damian.
“Well that’s sweet. Addison, he likes you. Maybe you should stop freaking out and give this a chance.”
When Damian found me on the balcony, I was lost. Not understanding how I could be anxiously awaiting the arrival of Damian one minute, then allow another man to touch me the next. Why does my body completely defy me when Matt is in the room, and why in the hell do I even allow him to get close enough to touch me?
Damian couldn’t have been clearer, he wanted more than one night, but I know deep down that if I continue to sleep with him, if I can’t straighten out whatever it is I’m feeling for both these men, it’s my heart that’s going to be on the line and I’m not ready to take that risk.
“Give what a chance?” My stomach is really starting to rumble. I can’t do this. I’m not good at casual and I’m not good at commitment. I should become a nun, it would serve me better.
“A relationship with Damian.”
“Mia, just because he wanted more than one night, doesn’t mean he wants a relationship.”
“You have no idea what he’s looking for, and unless you talk to him about this, you’ll never know.”
Feeling like a piece of my soul had left me, I can’t remember a time in the past five years that I hadn’t dreamt of the day Matt would waltz back into my life. The idea that another man would hold my interest; that someone would stand between me and the life I so desperately wanted seemed impossible. But, the pieces of my soul that were left empty by Matt’s departure and my father’s death have slowly started to return in the past two months and I only have Damian to thank for filling that void. I’m just not sure I’m mentally ready for this.
While my body has missed the touch of a man—the feeling of being adored and cherished, my heart wouldn’t withstand another heartbreak and the only way to protect it, is to simply not allow anyone access to it. Sleeping with Damian was a monumental mistake in the safety of my heart and I’m going to make damn sure, it never happens again.
I run to the bathroom and throw up, resting my head against the cold porcelain of the toilet.
“Jeez, Addy. You really were plowed weren’t you?”
“In more ways than one.” I sigh.
Mia starts laughing and we get off the phone. I drag my ass back to bed and crawl under the cool sheets. The building is silent. No music or television blares through the walls. Maybe he’s gone and it’s safe to go out on the deck and get a little fresh air.
I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth. A glance in the mirror tells me I look like hell. The hickies running the length of my body only darkened further. Bite marks line my shoulders, I didn’t notice before and the bruises on the insides of my thighs still replicate someone’s fingers. A hickey the size of a golf ball blemishes the back of my knee.
“Bite me,” I whisper.
He groans, as his lips suck on the sensitive flesh behind my knee, the vibration of his throat traveling up my leg and between my thighs. Trailing his tongue up my inner leg, that sweet ache begins to crest, my insides burning with intense heat that need release as the scruff on his jaw gently scratches my sweet spot and I explode, my body convulsing, my hands gripping his head and my throat raw from screaming his name.
Damn, I’m so screwed. Quickly I splash cold water on my face.
His lips, his teeth, and the way he groaned when I asked him to bite me. A familiar ache begins in my belly.
I throw on my white terry cloth robe and Billabong hat to hide the bloodshot eyes and blotches on my face then tentatively make my way to my balcony.
Slowly sliding the door open, I take a cautious step outside. The coast looks clear. The sun is beginning to set and the sky is a pretty shade of bluish gray. I can feel a slight ocean breeze, and for once, I’m happy I live by the beach. The scent of