Right With Me - Stacey Lewis Page 0,18

they don’t deserve to suffer for the choices the two of them make.

He smiles. “Me too.” His eyes remain intent on mine, and he slides a little closer to me so he can take one of my hands in his. “You’re the reason I was able to see what I was doing was hurting my kids. What you said about me being miserable and teaching my kids to stay in a situation like that opened my eyes.”

This time I’m the one looking down at my hands because I said what I did partly for selfish reasons. I’m just glad it worked out for him because it could have gone the opposite way. I almost feel like I should be sorry because he ended a relationship he’d been in for so many years the guilt of knowing that is real.

Mitchell slides a little closer to me and I tense, though I’m not sure exactly what I’m expecting him to do. Maybe it’s more what I want him to do which is an even scarier thought.

He takes my hands in his and I realize I’ve been twisting my fingers into knots while sitting here. Knowing he’s seeing the sign of my nerves is mortifying, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

I keep expecting him to look up at me, but his focus is on my hands. He’s stroking the back of them with his thumbs and making goosebumps rise on my arms. That might be worse than him seeing me twist my hands around while listening to him talk.

“Are you happy now? Or, well, I mean, are you happier now than you were?” I’m praying he says yes so I won’t feel so awful about pushing him to do it.

Now his eyes do come up to meet mine. “I am. It feels like a weight has been taken off my chest, like I can finally breathe again.” His focus turns to a spot in my living room so he’s not looking at me when he continues. “Having my kids go back and forth between her house and my apartment sucks, but it’s better than forcing myself to be somewhere I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me.”

I nod, knowing exactly what he means. Our situation isn’t exactly the same, but it’s close enough. “Yeah, I get that. I didn’t want Connor having to grow up without his dad around but doing everything by myself while he went out with his friends or did whatever else he was doing when he wasn’t at home was way worse. Even living with my parents again was worth it.”

Baring my soul to him isn’t what I planned on doing this morning, and when I look away from him, my eyes stop on the clock on the wall across from where we’re sitting, and I panic.

“Oh crap. I was supposed to meet my mom to get Connor ten minutes ago.” We both stand, and while I should apologize for basically kicking him out of my apartment, I’m too busy grabbing my phone and keys so I can get out of here. She’s going to ask so many questions about why I’m late and I don’t want to answer any of them. Mom has a way of getting things out of me, especially when I don’t want to tell her my secrets, so I’m sure she’ll have the whole story five minutes after I walk into the house.

Mitchell follows me out the door and down the steps to the parking lot. I look around, searching for my small car, then mentally facepalm myself when I remember we brought his truck here. Mine is still at his garage.

God, I’m an idiot.

“C’mon, I’ll give you a ride to your car.” He’s so calm and matter of fact, like the abrupt end to our conversation doesn’t faze him at all. It just makes me more anxious because we didn’t have any kind of closure. That’s the whole reason I went to his office today, and now it’s ruined.

We’re just leaving the parking lot when he clears his throat, making me jump about two feet in the air. It’s so attractive. I don’t even blame him for even attempting to hide his chuckle at my discomfort. If it was anyone but me, I’d probably laugh too.

“I want to see you again.”

My head spins around so fast when he says this, I probably look like I’m possessed. “What?” is my super intelligent response. Surely, I didn’t hear him