“Or I can just walk you to your car, if you want. Say good night.” Now he’s frowning too. It’s contagious, apparently. “Say something, Alice. You’re making me nervous and I’m not used to it.”
“Which is weird given how it’s basically my state of being.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just…I’m thinking. I need a minute.”
“One minute.” He holds his plastic wristwatch up to his face. “And…go.”
“Very funny,” I mumble.
Beck doesn’t own a car. He says he doesn’t need one. When he decides it’s time to move on, he just catches a bus or train into the next town. In the meantime, he’s living in a hostel nearby. Further proof that this is all temporary. A dalliance. An opportunity only open to me for a limited amount of time so I should make the most of it while I can. That would be the smart thing to do. Thinking about how much I’ll probably miss him when he’s gone would be less smart, however, yet unavoidable for various reasons.
What are my options? If I’d never met him that would have been sad. He makes me laugh. Hell, the last few days I’ve actually looked forward to work. And attempting to friend zone him would never have succeeded. The thirst is real. Though even in that impossible instance, it still would have sucked when he left. I think my anxiety has now mentally covered every possible scenario between us. Enough of the dithering.
I take a deep breath. “I’ve reached another decision.”
“Hmm?”
“Yes,” I say. “The time has come. I think we should just fornicate and be done with it… Beck?”
Only he’s not listening.
Instead, he’s staring over my head into the nearby parking lot that the alley leads to. A shiny luxury SUV sits beneath the one lone crappy light. Many is the night I’ve run to my car terrified of stalkers. From the back of the car emerges a man with a silver head of hair wearing a three-piece suit. Someone else waits in the driver’s seat, barely visible behind the dark tinted glass.
Beck’s jaw firms, a muscle popping out on the side. He is not a happy camper.
The stranger just stands there, watching us. Until finally, he speaks. “I didn’t think you’d want me to come inside.”
A grunt from Beck.
“If you’d have answered your cell, I wouldn’t have had to come.”
“Got rid of it months ago,” says Beck. “What are you doing here? I thought I made it pretty clear I wanted to be left alone.”
“You did, but I’m afraid I have some bad news.” He sighs heavily before walking closer. An unimpressed gaze takes me in for all of a second before returning to the man at my side. Brows drawn in tight, he says, “Beck, your father…”
“What about him?”
“He’s dead.”
Oh no.
“What?” Beck stiffens. “How? When?”
“Eight days ago of a heart attack,” the man reports, not unsympathetically. “It was quick; he didn’t suffer.”
Beck just shakes his head. I slip my hand into his and his fingers tighten on mine. Like he needs something or someone to hold on to.
“It took us a while to find you.” The man inhales, wrinkling his nose at the smell. “You need to come home. They’re delaying the funeral for you, but they can’t wait much longer.”
“People will talk,” says Beck in a mocking tone.
“People always talk. But the point is you should be with your family right now. They need you.”
Beck nods sharply. “Wait for me in the car.”
The man doesn’t hesitate, just about-faces and does as told. Suddenly I’m not so sure I know the person whose hand I’m holding.
Beck scowls at the luxury vehicle in silence.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. Not really knowing what the hell else to say. And even though all I want is to be there for him, there’s an awful, selfish part of me that’s whispering that this is where it all ends. That this fancy black SUV is about to whisk him away forever, before we were ever actually together.
He looks at me like he’s surprised to see me there. But his grip tightens. I don’t want to let him go either. “Alice.”
“Hey. Are you all right?”
“No, not really,” he says. “I want you to come with me.”
“What?”
Next he looks at the building, mouth skewed with distaste. “I have to go and you hate this place anyway. You said so. Come with me.”