give a fuck. And all the while, Beck stands out in the bedroom and watches. How this is giving me space, I don’t know. But I don’t have the energy to argue.
“Alice, I’m sorry,” he says, his expression blank. “I promise I’ll never lie to you about anything ever again.”
I sigh.
“I called Emma, got the name of her favorite therapist.” He swallows. “Later I’ll get an appointment.”
“That’s a good idea.”
I make for the bathroom on the other side of the room. Of course he follows. But I’m excellent at ignoring people when I choose to do so. Just watch me go. I dump my clothes on the bench and grab a pack of Advil out of the cupboard before downing the recommended dose. Next I brush my teeth, because gross. Gin, mornings, and heartbreak do not make for good breath.
He leans a shoulder against the door jamb, watching me all the while. I don’t have the heart to shut the door in his face. Maybe I should, but I can’t. In the mirror, his forehead is furrowed. “Are you planning on leaving me…just out of curiosity?”
“I’m still here.”
He nods, thinking it over. “It occurred to me that perhaps I hadn’t groveled sufficiently given the situation and everything. I haven’t particularly had occasion to grovel before. If a girl was pissed at me over something then I tended to just ignore it or move on. But I have reason to believe that should I apply myself to groveling I would be quite excellent at it. If you’d give me a chance?”
I finish rinsing and spitting.
He clears his throat and says, “‘You are too generous to trifle with me.’”
“Do not quote Austen at me!”
“Sorry.”
I get busy stripping out of my clothes. Almost strangling myself with my tee due to anger management issues. “I want honesty and apologies. Nothing else.”
“Yes, Alice. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
Hot water is the best fix for my current situation. Hot water and lots of it. I step into the shower and get busy, using my favorite facewash and a soap that smells of rosehips, washing and conditioning my hair. The end result is that I’m still angry, but I smell much better. Towel wrapped around me, I stand back in front of the mirror and drag a brush through my nest of hair.
“Please, stop. You’re tearing it out,” says Beck, taking over the job. Being tired and cranky, I let him. He’s much gentler with my locks, carefully working out the knots with a look of concentration on his face. “Just between you and me, I was kind of terrified you’d leave and I’d never see you again. That’s why I was camped outside your door. I figured at the very least, you’d trip over me in the dark and I’d slow you down. Imagine my surprise when you didn’t even attempt to make a run for it.”
“I don’t forgive you yet. But like I said, I’m still here.”
Gaze on his task, he nods. The man works diligently until the brush pulls easily through my long hair. If he decides being a billionaire isn’t working out, he might just have a future as a lady’s maid. We don’t talk for a while. It’s enough to be near each other. And despite all of the shit he’s put me through, I still want to be near him. Love sucks. He hands me back the brush with a small sad smile. “There you go.”
“Thank you,” I mutter.
“Can I say just one more thing?”
“What?” I ask. Without a word, he gets on his knees before me. I back my towel clad ass up against the bathroom bench, but there’s nowhere really for me to go. “What are you doing?”
“You didn’t totally nix the idea of groveling so I thought I would try some. Very sincere and apologetic groveling at your feet.”
“Beck…”
Then the idiot grabs the sides of my knees, leaning his forehead against the slight round of my belly. He’s basically talking straight at my barely covered crotch. “Alice, I’m so fucking sorry I lied. You were right, I was following my father’s handbook. Doing things the Elliot way without even giving it a second thought despite all of my bullshit about wanting to be different.”
I don’t know what to say.
“I acted like a dickhead and you deserve better.”
“Yes, you did. And I do.”
“Let me make it up to you.” He presses his face into one of my thighs, his hands sliding up the back of my