the tall windows, the last of the gray evening light filters through, casting the room in long shadows. A half empty bottle of Downtown Gin and a fine collection of empty little tonic bottles surround me. Just like the ones you get in hotels. Classy.
“Mrs. Francis said Grandma came calling. Are you okay?” Beck switches on a lamp, illuminating the library. He kneels next to my chair, so handsome in his black suit. It hurts to look. The cut of his cheekbones and the love in his eyes. How badly I want to touch him, to just be with him. But here we are, all fucked up.
“You’ve been lying,” I say, voice dead of emotion. My eyes hurt from crying and my throat feels scraped raw. “Haven’t you?”
His dark brows lower.
“It wasn’t Rachel’s idea to take me shopping and shine me up. It was yours.”
“Alice…”
“And it wasn’t Matías’s idea to give me a job either,” I say. “You asked him to find me something. But I bet that’s not all. What else have you been lying about, Beck?”
His jawline goes rigid. But he doesn’t deny it.
“The watch and the diamonds and all of those things that just appeared in my wardrobe that you swore you had no idea about. No wonder Rachel looked confused when I asked her to stop. I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not.” He wraps a hand around the armrest of the chair I’m sitting in. His knuckles stark white from the fervor of his grip. “Alice, listen to me, okay? Just listen. I wanted you to be happy here. That’s all.”
“That’s all,” I agree. “But what else have you been lying about to achieve that aim, hmm?”
He pauses, turning his face away. Every line of him is tense and stressed. “It wasn’t because I was ashamed of you or didn’t think you were enough.”
Does it make it a lie if he won’t meet my eyes? Or is that my old insecurities creeping in? Hard to tell. I can’t imagine there have been many moments like this in his life. When he’s clearly in the wrong and being called on it. When lawyers couldn’t be called in or money won’t make it go away. I’m not sure his parents ever cared enough to censure him and no one else probably had the guts. He’s on his knees, but his broad shoulders shift agitatedly beneath his suit jacket. As if he’d like to rip it apart at the seams Hulk style and just start roaring.
“Look at me and tell the truth,” I say, my smile false. “You wanted to hook me on the luxury lifestyle too. Throw me some diamonds to keep me pacified like your daddy used to do.”
He stares at me from beneath his brows. So locked down. I can’t read him at all. His gaze is like a shut door. “That’s not true. I wasn’t trying to buy you.”
“Bullshit,” I say. “Of course you were; it’s what you know. All of your good intentions, your search to find someone apart from this. Then you couldn’t help but drag me in too. And I fell for it. How long do you think it would have taken before you resented me the same as you do Selah?”
“I wouldn’t—”
“You would have. I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to figure out why you felt the need to lie, but it’s just what you know, isn’t it? It’s what you’ve seen and been taught. You spent six months wandering the wild lands away from all of this splendor and learned absolutely nothing.” And I sound bitter. So damn bitter. “Now tell me. What else did you lie about?”
His nostrils flare like some pissed off bull. Confession clearly isn’t his thing. “It wasn’t Penny’s idea to make you head of the foundation, it was mine,” he admits. “I thought you’d be more open to it if you thought it came from someone else.”
I nod, breathing hard.
“The watch and those things like you said.”
“Yes,” I say.
“I didn’t find Princess on the street, I got her from a shelter.”
“Why the hell would you even lie about that?” I scrunch up my nose. “Seriously, it’s insane. What’s wrong with you? Are you a compulsive liar or something? Can you not help yourself?”
“I just wanted you to stay,” he shouts, the words taut like they’re being ripped out of him. “I thought the more reasons I gave you, then the greater likelihood that would happen.”
“The jewelry wasn’t working as well as you’d hoped so you thought