in any skill I need, take it in . . . use it, for however long I need to.” Then he blew out a breath and scrubbed his hands over his face. “The problem, though, is this last sync was bad. The psychics, well, it’s not their fault. Both of them have control and everything. It’s complicated and confidential and I can’t explain it all, but one of them . . .” He lowered his hands, curling them into fists. “She’s got too much inside her. She can handle it. I was getting a handle on it. But I needed more time. Didn’t have it. Between that, the dreams . . . all the ghosts . . .”
“Ghosts?” she echoed. Now there were ghosts in the mix.
“Hell.” He shoved upright and started to pace, prowling the room like a caged, angry tiger. “I sound like a fucking pussy. Yes. Ghosts. The other psychic communicates with the dead, and this case is crawling with ghosts. I hear them everywhere. All they want to do is rest, and I can’t . . . I couldn’t help them do that until I did what I needed to do to help the others. But their voices were inside my head all the time. It was just too much, and all of it, you, the dreams, everything . . .” He trailed off, jerked his shoulder in a shrug. “I started to go a little crazy and I wasn’t thinking well.”
Then he turned, shot a glittering look her way. “I messed up. I was messed up, but that’s no excuse. I screwed up and I’m sorry. I’m still fucked up, I’m still tired, but I’m not surrounded by death and ghosts and screams right now, and I’m also not torn in ten thousand different directions while I try and understand what’s going on with you. This isn’t done.”
As he came toward her, still moving in that sleek, easy way, predatory, dangerous . . . deadly, but oh so fucking sexy, her breath caught in her throat. He shoved a hand into her hair, tangling as he tugged her head back. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his rough voice even rougher. His eyes searched her face. “I hurt you and I’m sorry, and I want to spend the next fifty years making it up to you. But I’m not ready to give up on us just because of a couple of mistakes we made while we were involved in a very, very bad situation. You can’t tell me that’s what you want, Dru. You weren’t a coward in the last life . . . don’t be one in this life.”
It wasn’t about being a coward. But he wasn’t going to want her . . .
The shame, the misery, twisted inside her.
As he lowered his mouth to hers, she groaned and opened for him.
Maybe . . . maybe just once, she thought. Couldn’t she have just once?
He slid a hand around her waist, pushed it under her shirt.
Damn it, yes.
He’d be angry. Maybe he’d hide it, maybe he wouldn’t.
She didn’t know, and just then, she didn’t care. She’d been shoving everything she wanted, everything she needed, off to the side for too long. It was time she took something she needed. Something she wanted. For the first time since she’d started working this bloody job, she’d take what she deserved.
Pushing him back, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and jerked it off. The harsh intake of his breath echoed through the room. Staring at him, she stripped out of her sports bra. But as she reached for the waist of her running tights, he beat her to it.
Big, strong hands caught her around the waist, hauling her up against him.
“Dru, I already told you I was going a little crazy . . . are you trying to push me completely over?” he snarled against her lips as he stripped the clinging black tights away.
“Maybe.” Tipping her head back, she stared at him. “Do you care?”
“No . . .” He spun around and put her back up against the wall. “I don’t care at all.”
She was ready for him to just unzip his jeans and take her. Ready for it to just end that fast. But he surprised her as he dipped his head, skimming his lips along her shoulder. Along the curve of her collarbone. When he went lower and caught the tight bud of her nipple in his mouth, Dru gasped.