“Wh-what?” And here I thought I’d have to answer a million questions.
“I know everything I need to, Jennings.” She pulls back. I growl, which makes her laugh. Lifting her fingers, Kara ticks off her observations. “My son came home with a smile on his face and no pain in his eyes for the first time in months. He’s voluntarily calling his therapist. And he called you Dad.” She drops her hand to slam against me again. “Whatever you did, keep doing it…Dad.”
Racing out of my arms, she hurries after Kevin, yelling, “What did you guys buy for dinner? It’d better not be crap cheeseburgers.”
I’m frozen in place as the entire day flashes in front of me. Kevin and I visited Jed and Dean. Then we walked along the water and saw the cruise ships up close. We talked about my time in Ketchikan and growing up on a farm, how much he liked living in Florida. Despite her worries, it turns out my son can’t wait for swim season to start. I open my mouth to tell Kara all of that, but she’s already inside. Since the windows are open, I can hear her laughter through them.
It’s a gift. They both are.
And I’m going to be forever grateful I was loved enough by a lost brother that he fought to rearrange my life for me so I recognized it.
Shaking myself out of my stupor, I yell through the window, “We didn’t get you a cheeseburger.”
“What did you get me?” Kara calls.
“Your son wanted Subway. Again,” I bemoan as I climb the front stoop.
When I open the door, mother and son are both grinning at me. “Why is he my son when he wants Subway?” Kara demands.
“Because I wanted to go to Rainbow Foods and get his mother more brie and prosciutto?” I stroll right up to her and plant a kiss on her lips.
Kevin makes a gagging sound the moment our lips touch. It’s a perfect moment I’ll treasure for the rest of my life.
Pulling away a few seconds later, Kara regains her composure enough to declare, “You can blame Dean for that. He’s the one who treated him to fast food when he was a toddler.”
I throw my head back and laugh as I say aloud, “Thanks, Dean. Appreciate it.”
And I don’t just mean my son’s food preference.
Kara
After Jennings left that night, I pulled out my laptop. I’ve been so busy living, emailing my brother has completely slipped my mind. Is that a good thing or a bad thing, I wonder as I pull up the email application.
But after today, I need to. There’s some very important things he needs to understand as Kevin, Jennings, and I figure out a new future.
And it’s that, no matter what, Kevin and I will never forget the past.
Without hesitation, I write.
Dear Dean.
I’m not as haunted as I was when I first boarded the plane for Alaska, but I’m sure you know that wherever you are. Jennings and I have reconnected in a way I’m sure Jed would be saying “I told you so” to, so if you could try to keep his gloating to a minimum, it would be appreciated.
Right after you give him a big sloppy kiss from me.
At first, it was difficult. You know more than anyone how broken I was as a result of our parents actions. I was devastated when they disowned you, but then when they did the same to me, to my unborn child? I was never the same.
Even before that, let’s be honest, you were always so much more outgoing than I was. But to open myself up to people after that kind of a betrayal took a near Herculean effort. I’m not going to lie, it was easier to cocoon myself, to remain in stasis. And keeping Jennings on the periphery was a part of that, I guess. But the minute I saw him again, that all began to change. I think you got the idea from my other letters. The more and more I saw him with Kevin, and the more I began to understand the man he is, the wrapping I’ve held around me has slowly begun to fall away.
I’m falling in love with him.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I wasn’t terrified because I am. Not just for me, but for Kevin. Today, he had a major breakthrough; he called Jennings ‘Dad.’ God, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take away from everything you and Jed gave