Laying myself back on the bed, I close my eyes, still clutching the phone to my chest, cautiously hopeful. Because that’s all I can be.
Then my eyes jerk open. It’s only 6:00 a.m. here. Quickly I type, Is everything okay? Why are you awake?
I see the dots move. Then stop. Then they move again before a new text comes in.
I waited up for Maris to tell her about Kevin’s breakthrough tonight, but she didn’t come home. That’s nothing to worry about — she’s at the apartment above the bar. Then I was thinking back about today, the laughter, the emotions.
Are they good ones? I type back quickly, concerned she’s not in a good spot with the way things are progressing with our son.
Most of them, yes. Some are necessary. I’m handling them is what comes back much more quickly.
I suspect she also sent a long letter to her brother. I wonder if that habit will end as time passes and her heart heals. I hesitate before making the offer, but damnit, I want her to start getting comfortable with the fact I’m here for her now too. Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you too, Kara.
I wonder if I’ve overshot my moment when the dots move. With a swoosh, I receive, Not now, but soon. You need to know anyway for Kevin.
And I’m left intrigued and confused. I tell her as much.
What I get back is a bunch of emojis that make absolutely no sense. Is that supposed to make it clearer? I ask.
No, I was just showing you what I was feeling.
Suddenly, I feel like I’m studying a preflight checklist before takeoff. I evaluate each and every emoji in detail, trying to discern what to say next when a new text comes in. Get some rest Jennings. We’ll talk more later.
I want to tell her to wait, but the clock on my phone tells me it’s almost six thirty in the morning. With a groan, I reach over and plug my phone back in.
I’ll memorize Kara’s self-study guide before I hopefully see her later. I’ll show her I’m a superior student when it comes to handling the emotions of the Malone family.
Kara
My fists are clenched tightly in my lap as Jennings lines up his Cessna for us to take off. “This is your idea of a good place to have a conversation?” I demand belligerently.
Jennings laughs through the headset. “What better place, Kara? Up in the air, we have plenty of time to just talk without interruption.” Jennings speaks to the tower. I hear through my headset, “Cleared to take off, runway 1, Juliette Sierra Foxtrot 206.” Slowly, the plane begins easing forward.
I have to admit, I’m impressed. “It’s like you’re speaking another language when you do that.”
He laughs. “It reminds me of when you used to talk about the different kinds of soil topography here in Alaska. I was, and am, slightly in awe over how smart you are. Hold on, babe.”
Immediately, my hands shoot to the armrests on either side. Jennings chuckles in amusement. “I didn’t get the full effect of this yesterday when I took you both up. Why didn’t you tell me you’re afraid to fly?”
“I’m not afraid, per se.” And as we lift off the ground, I open up. After writing to Dean last night, I talked with Maris this morning. “I’ve never been good at this,” I admitted to my friend over coffee.
“What, being happy?” she countered.
Staring into the depths of my cup, I whisper, “Relationships. People. Feelings.”
Then Maris blew my mind when she retorted, “You have a chance some of us don’t have. Just see where this leads?”
Jennings picked me up later after I told Kevin I was spending the day with his father. “We have a lot of things to talk about” is all I said.
He shrugged before saying, “I think I got the better end of the deal. Maris says she’s taking me to…where?”
Maris smoothly interrupted. “I’m going to take him on the ferry and spend the night in Ketchikan. We’re going to see the Lumberjack Show.”
I groaned. “Jennings is going to murder you,” I warned her.
An impish smile crossed her face. “He’ll think it’s worth it.”
Brought back to the present, I answer him. “It’s just since we got the news about Dean and Jed, I’m terrified about something happening to me. Then, what happens to Kevin?”
Silence stretches between us. I joke, “That must seem silly to a pilot who’s in