Maris downs her shot. “I don’t know. I can’t answer that. All I can do is ask you this: What did kissing John Jennings make you feel again?” She pours another into my glass.
I stare at the clear liquid before I lift it to my lips. “You’re a mean friend,” I tell her.
“Why?”
“Because you know this shit is like a truth serum,” I accuse before downing it. I wipe the back of my mouth with my hand. “Ugh, tell me you have Tums.”
“Loads.”
“Thank Christ for that.”
“You realize you’re avoiding the question,” she nudges gently.
“I’m not avoiding it as much as I’m looking for an alternative theory to solve the problem,” I declare as I plunk the shot glass down on the shiny wood grain.
Maris tilts her head. “What problem?”
“The fact feeling anything for this man could fling me as high as the sky before sending me crashing to the ground.”
“So, you did feel something,” she says slowly.
“He noticed I wasn’t wearing my grandmother’s bracelet, Maris. The first time we spoke,” I whisper. “He was infuriated by it. Ever since, he’s been worried, anxious, interesting, and intriguing. I think what I’m feeling is terrified.”
Maris’s head drops. “God, Kara.”
“I know. So much has changed about him; I don’t know how to process it despite the feelings I had for him then.” I inhale sharply. Then I admit to her something I’ve only told Dean in letters late at night. “Would we have made it past that summer? God, we were so young. It was a hard truth I came to accept before I was able to put Jennings aside to move on with my life. And I can’t say my life hasn’t been a good one. It’s just been unexpected.”
Maris doesn’t say anything, she just lets me continue. “Logically, my mind is telling me it would be a potential tragedy to feel something for Jennings again so quickly,” I admit. “Even after tonight, spending time with just him, I’m setting up the perfect scenario for an epic disaster.”
“So, it’s better to have nothing when you have the possibility of everything?”
“I could be devastated and be left alone to cope. Again,” I emphasize before Maris can argue.
“Or you can be the explorer you shut down inside years ago,” she counters.
I’m startled into a reply. “What?”
“I agreed with your decision all these years, kept promises because I understood your pain and your logic. I lived through the fear you endured by your side, and look what you have—a son you raised brilliantly.” Tears well in my eyes at her words. Maris goes on. “All the stories I heard from Jed’s reunions with the guys indicated the John Jennings I knew from before was the man he was today. I suspect now, that was just guy talk because after listening to all of this?” She lifts the bottle and drinks quickly. Wiping her mouth after swallowing, she whispers, “He remembered your bracelet.”
A sting hits my eyes, but I’m exhausted of emotions right now. “I know. And it’s sweet, but…”
“But think on this,” she interrupts. “Do you ever remember Jennings being sweet? Patient? Considerate?”
I close my eyes before admitting, “He’s been nothing but since the day by Jed’s graveside.”
Maris smacks her hand on the countertop to emphasize her point.
“But that could just be because of Kevin,” I protest weakly.
Maris pours herself another shot and tosses it back before an edgy smile tips up her lips. “When you’re lying in bed overanalyzing this tonight, ask yourself if he was thinking about his son when he kissed you.” Then she turns and walks away.
“Rude!” I yell after her.
“But you love me anyway” is her only reply as she climbs the stairs. Soon she’s out of sight, and I’m left with nothing but my own thoughts.
And due to the tequila truth serum, there is nothing blocking them.
Jennings
We taxi down the runway in the early morning light. I pull back on the wheel in front of me, Kara’s gasp almost drowned out by Kevin’s war whoop, and my insides settle for the first time since I saw them both standing at Jed’s service. “Are you ready?”
“Isn’t it a little late to ask that?” Kara squeaks.
Checking the panel, I see everything is perfect. Holding the stick with one hand, I reach over and cover Kara’s balled hands. “Everything is going to be fine,” I assure her.
“Christ, Jennings! Put both hands back on the wheel!”
Kevin laughs from the back. “I hear that a lot too, Jennings.”