Rescuing Jenna - Anna Blakely Page 0,97
this sort of egg-shell politeness had never really been one of them.
“Listen, Jen. I—”
“What are you—”
They both began speaking at once.
“Sorry.” He offered another polite smile. “You were saying?”
“No.” Jenna shook her head. “You’re the one who came all this way to see me. You go.”
That’s right. Remind him that this particular impromptu visit was his idea.
He’d made the first move, so now it was on him to say what he’d come here to say.
Adrian licked his lips again, and mother trucker, if she didn’t want to grab him and put those wet lips on hers.
“Okay.” He drew in a deep breath and let it out. “I spoke to Ryker this morning. He contacted the FBI after taking care of things in Colombia. Thanks to you, they started an official investigation into the disappearance Stella Gallagher. Nothing’s turned up yet, but he assured me they will continue to look.”
“That’s…wow.” Jenna blew out a breath. “That’s great.”
“Yeah. It is.”
Seconds passed without a word spoken between them before she asked him, “Is that the only reason you’re here?”
“No.” He shook his handsome head then said, “I screwed up.”
No shit.
Jenna crossed her arms and raised a brow. “Just so we’re clear, which particular screw-up are you referring to? Leaving me in that hospital without so much as coming to check on me first, your latest vanishing act…I mean I don’t know. It just seems like there’s so many options to choose from.”
Looking really uncomfortable—like crawl-into-the-nearest-hole uncomfortable—Adrian ran a hand over the scruff on his jaw and sighed.
“You have a right to be pissed. I know that. I also know that a simple apology doesn’t even come close to making up for leaving the way I did. But I am sorry, Jenna.” He swallowed. “More than you’ll ever know.”
The misplaced guilt he was feeling poured off of him in waves. Jenna wanted to go to him. To hold him and tell him it was okay.
But it wasn’t okay. And she needed to make sure he understood that.
“You hurt me.”
She was blunt and brutally honest. And the way he was looking back at her said she’d cut him deep.
“That was the last thing I ever wanted to do.” He started to take a step toward her but stopped. “I need you to know that.”
“Then why did you?” Jenna took the step for him. “Why did you ghost me like that? Again?”
She already knew the answer, but if they had any chance of moving past this, she needed him to say the words.
“I was scared.”
Holy shit. He actually said them.
Jenna blinked, but kept her composure. “Of what?”
“Losing you.” His eyes locked with hers as he finally took that step forward. “I’ve been alone for so long, I guess I forgot how to let someone in. Hell, I have no idea how to even be in a relationship, which I used to be perfectly fine with. But then I met you.” He sighed again. “I don’t know what you did or how you did it, but you became a part of me, Jenna. The very best part. And when I almost lost you…” Adrian rolled his lips inward and shook his head. “Everything you went through. All the pain. The fear. Nearly fucking dying. All of that shit happened because of me.”
Damn. He was so close.
“All of that shit happened because Matais Ortiz was a sick, twisted freak like his father,” she reminded him.
“I know that.” He pointed to his temple. “In here. But here?” He patted his chest. “Baby, the pain and fear I felt watching you bleed out right in front of me is still there. I’ve been living with it every single day since I left.”
“You think I don’t feel those things?” Jenna moved a few inches forward. “That I don’t have nightmares where I see myself dying in your arms? I see you and Matais fighting almost every time I fall asleep. Only in my dreams he shoots you instead of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Quit saying you’re sorry and tell me why you left!”
“I told you.” He frowned. “I was scared.”
“Not good enough.” Jenna shook her head as his image began to blur. “People get scared all the time, Adrian. But they don’t just take off the way you did. You left without a single fucking word. You went off on your own without any thought to the people you left behind. Like you didn’t give a shit about me, or Gabe, or anyone but yourself.”
“I left because I wanted to protect you!” Adrian’s deep