hard to express myself in the terms of this day and age. I don’t want to say something that sounds crass, but I heard the word ‘sexy’ used on the television and that word describes you to a tee.”
“I think you’re sexy too. I always have. I admire everything about you.” Tenderness welled up in her heart like a bubbling spring.
Reno stared down at the coffee table. “I can’t express to you how your devotion makes me feel.” Everything this woman did endeared her to him. “It’s hard for me to fathom being loved to such a degree.”
“It would definitely turn some men off, I’m afraid.”
“Turn-off? What does that mean?”
She pressed her lips together, searching for a way to explain herself. “Being turned-off is when you lose interest in something. Most men like a challenge, you see. They want to chase the woman.” When she saw the look on his face, she giggled and clarified. “Not literally. I don’t mean run a race. I mean…pursue. Teasing. Coquettish behavior on the part of the woman. You know, make a guy work for it.”
Reno couldn’t help it, he laughed. “I don’t feel that way. This isn’t a game for me. The only problem I have with the way you feel…is that I’m afraid you don’t really know me. You’ve built up this image of me in your mind. What if I can’t live up to the version of myself that you’ve placed so high on a pedestal?”
“My image of you is based on your actions, Reno. The way you treat people. The way you care. Are you saying I shouldn’t believe everything I read in Saul’s journal?”
He struggled with his answer. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Everything Saul said is true, but there was so much more that happened.” He released her hand and raised his own to rub his forehead in a worried manner. “I’m not perfect.”
This made Journey laugh. “Oh, surely you are.”
It took a moment for him to realize she was teasing. “No, I’m not. Sometimes I’m selfish, crass, and stubborn. I’ve failed at some things. I’ve made mistakes.”
“Haven’t we all? You’re human, Reno.”
He wasn’t finished. “I want you to know me, the real me, before we go any further in our relationship.”
“Oh.” Journey couldn’t deny she was disappointed. She felt like she knew him as well as she knew herself. “I’m not pressuring you for sex, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He shook his head, a smile coming to his lips. “That’s not what I meant.”
He looked down at his lap and her eyes followed his, widening at what she saw. Reno was aroused. This revelation made her tingle all over. When she looked up to meet his gaze, she was surprised to find him blushing. And with his skin tone, that was saying something. “Don’t be ashamed. I want you to want me.”
“Well, I do.” With that revelation, he rose from the couch to walk across the room to the fireplace.
She watched him study some family photos of her when she was younger. “I didn’t mean to run you off.”
He placed a hand on the mantle and stared down at the raised stone hearth, propping up his booted foot on the ledge. “I haven’t been with many women, Journey.”
“That’s okay, I haven’t either.” She realized what she’d said and giggled. “I haven’t been with a woman, for sure. And I’ve never been all the way with a guy. I’m old-fashioned. I guess I was saving myself for you.”
He chuckled again. “You flatter me beyond belief.” Reno abruptly turned to face her. “So much is different in your time than it is in mine. People are freer with their affection, with their bodies.”
“I didn’t realize you’ve had time to research modern society.”
“I’ve watched television. Something entitled The Bold and the Beautiful.”
“Oh, lord, you’re watching soap operas now.” She shook her head in bemusement.
“I couldn’t help but note how sex is…more available. Accepted.” He struggled to express himself. “Even with unattached women of good reputation.”
“I guess you could say that’s true. Women are more liberated now.”
He returned to sit on the sofa next to her. “Pardon me for asking and if you don’t want to answer, I understand.”
“Go ahead. Ask.” Journey had no idea what he was about to say.
“Well, you said you hadn’t gone all the way with a guy, does that mean you’ve gone part of the way?”
Now it was Journey’s turn to be embarrassed. “Well, I’m not one to kiss and tell. But…sort of. I