She pushed open the barn door and leaned against it to catch her breath and give her eyes a moment to adjust to the dimness inside.
Where was Matt? The barn, with its empty stalls, seemed to be holding its breath. Even the dust motes in a beam of sunlight appeared to stand still. A single dove cooed in the rafters, breaking the silence and softening the gloom.
On the far wall, beside Pearl’s stall door, a shadow shifted. Emma hurried forward.
Matt sagged against the gate with his arms resting on the top rail, his shoulders slumped and his head dipped low.
He must have heard her, but he didn’t look up. She touched the back of his vest and felt a shiver race beneath her fingertips.
“Matt,” she whispered.
He took a deep breath, straightened and turned to face her. Lord, but she couldn’t remember ever seeing such misery in a face. Deep lines cut the corners of his mouth and his skin looked pale. His hair dragged about his face as though he were hiding behind it.
But his eyes looked the worst, appearing to have traveled the road to hell and back, and back wasn’t any better than hell.
She reached up to brush away a strand of hair that had stuck to the corner of his mouth.
“You’re trembling all over, Emma.” His voice sounded so bleak that it must have passed beyond despair sometime back. He wiped one thumb across the moisture on her face. “Lucy’s gone? My baby, she’s—”
She shook her head. “Tears of joy. The doc says she’s going to recover!”
For the longest time he stared down at her, as if he was stunned or didn’t dare believe it.
“It’s true, Matt.”
All at once the moisture that had been lurking in his eyes for days let loose. It slipped down his cheeks, catching on the stubble of his beard and pooling at the corners of his lips.
His shoulders hitched inward. His arms, tight with tension, drew her close and pressed her tight to his chest. He bent his head to her shoulder and wept quietly against her neck.
After a moment, his chest stilled. He raised his head, tipped it back and his lungs expanded.
“Yee-ha-a-a!” His shout disturbed the dove in the rafters and set it flapping about the barn. It darted out through the window in the hayloft with a twitter of alarm.
All of a sudden Emma’s feet left the ground. Matt twirled her about, his arms braced about her back. Around and around he spun her, clearly as delirious with joy as she was.
She screeched, Matt whooped. When he stopped he didn’t put her down. Eye to eye, winded breath mingling with winded breath, he grinned at her. He kissed her. Jubilation joined them. Love bound them.
Life without Matt would be dreary, no matter if she lived in a palace. With him, she could live in a hovel and be happy.
So there it was. Once made, her decision hurt but choosing the other way would have left her dead inside.
“I’m coming with you to California.”
“Emma?” He set her down on the floor.
“Just as soon as Lucy is able to travel, we can go.”
“Darlin’, that’s a hard choice. You ought to give it some time.”
“Time won’t make a difference…and it could kill you.” She shook her head, more sure by the second that her decision was the only one she could make. “Everything has changed. I’ve made up my mind.”
She hadn’t expected him to frown. “Whatever happens, do you promise to stand by me, darlin’?”
“On the honor of our wedding vows.” And at the cost of her home, but she meant it. “Let’s get going—there’s a little girl who’s going to want to see her papa.”
His grin returned, wide and bright enough to light the barn. Once again he kissed her. This time she tasted forever.
“Yee-haa!” He caught her hand and they ran toward the house together.
* * *
The deep silence of midnight settled down about the house. Health and hope brought the promise of new life to every quiet corner.
Hawker still waited in town. That was a problem he would deal with, but somehow, given everything that had happened, it didn’t cast as large a shadow. Death had knocked on the homestead door and been sent packing. Would he be likely to show his wicked face again so soon?
Possibly life and death had no rules, but he wouldn’t think about that just yet. For now, he was content to stand in the doorway of Lucy’s bedroom and watch her gain