do we have to move to London?” Vanessa was looking plaintively at her mother.
“Because, darling, I'm getting married and that's where Vasili lives.” Serena felt very odd as she tried to explain it to Vanessa. All of the things that she was doing wrong seemed even more difficult to explain. It was wrong that she was moving so quickly, that she was giving up her career in New York, that she was leaving Teddy, that Vanessa hadn't met Vasili.
Vanessa looked at her now. “Can't I just stay here?” Serena felt as though she had been slapped by her daughter.
“Don't you want to come with me, Vanessa?” Serena had to fight back tears.
“But who'll take care of Uncle Teddy?”
“He will. And you know, one of these days he might get married too.”
“But don't you love him?” Vanessa looked more than ever confused, and Serena looked distraught.
“Of course I do, but not that way—oh, Vanessa, love is complicated.” How could one explain to a child about passion? “Anyway, now this nice man has come along and he wants you and me to come and live with him in London. And he has a house in Athens, and an apartment in Paris, and …” She felt like a complete fool trying to convince her daughter. Vanessa was just a child, not yet eight, and yet she knew when her mother was doing something wrong. Dorothea Kerr had been a great deal more blunt about it.
“Frankly I think you're stark-staring crazy.”
“I know, I know. It sounds nuts.” Serena was constantly having to defend what she was doing and it was exhausting. “But, Dorothea, this is special. I don't know how to tell you. He loves me, I love him. Something magical happened between us when he was here.”
“So he's good in bed. So what? So go sleep with him in London or Paris or the Congo, but don't marry him. For chrissake, the man has been married four or five times.”
“Four.” Serena corrected soberly.
“And just what do you think will happen to your career? You won't stay on top forever, kid. Some new face will come along.”
“That's going to happen anyway, and I can work in London.” There was no convincing her, but by the time she left New York, three weeks later. Serena's psyche was exhausted. She was tired and pale and hadn't slept in weeks.
Teddy took them to the airport, and all three of them cried as though it were the end of the world. He was quiet and restrained, but the tears flowed down his face as he kissed Vanessa, and Vanessa clung to him like her last friend. Serena felt as though she were destroying the family she cherished, and at the end she held Teddy in her arms and she couldn't even speak. All she could manage to squeeze out just before they boarded was an anguished “I love you.” And then with a last wave they were gone. The flight over was bumpy and Vanessa cried most of the way, and by the time they reached London, Serena was almost ready to turn back. But as she stepped off the plane she saw him, and her eyes filled with tears as she laughed. Vasili looked like a balloon vendor at a fair, as he stood with at least fifty helium-filled balloons in one hand, and an enormous doll stuck under his other arm.
“Is that him?” Vanessa stared at him with interest, and it struck Serena again how much she looked like Brad.
“Yes. His name is Vasili.”
“I know.” Vanessa glanced disparagingly over her shoulder at her mother and Serena grinned at what an able grown-up she could be sometimes.
The doll was wearing a fancy blue satin dress, a small white fur cape, and an old-fashioned hat. She looked like a little girl of a hundred years before.
Vasili came slowly toward them, the balloons held aloft, as people smiled. “Hello, could I sell you a balloon, little girl?” Vanessa laughed. “And I also happen to have this dolly.” He pulled the big handsome doll out from under his arm and handed her to Vanessa. “Hello, Vanessa. My name is Vasili.”
“I know.” She stared at him, as though sizing him up, and he laughed. “I'm glad you came to London.”
She looked at him honestly. “I didn't want to come. I cried a lot when I left New York.”
“I can understand that.” He spoke to her gently. “When I was a little boy, I lived in London, and then I had to