might be before she saw him again. And aside from Vanessa he was the only family she had.
But four days later he called her. He was laughing and excited and almost stammering into the phone as she tried to sift out what had happened. He sounded as though he had won the Irish Sweepstakes.
“They want you! They want you!”
“Who wants me?” She was still confused as she stared at the phone.
“The agency! Where I took your pictures!”
“What do you mean, they want me?” She suddenly felt a thrill of excitement race through her.
“I mean they want you to come to New York. They want to represent you. They already know of half a dozen potential jobs they would send you out for, just for a start.”
“But that's crazy!”
“No, it isn't, dammit. You are. Serena, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and you're out there hiding in some damn department store. If you want to be a model, for chrissake, then come to New York and really be one! Will you come?”
“I don't know … I have to think … the apartment … Vanessa …” But she was laughing and smiling, and her head felt all in a whirl.
“School hasn't started yet, this is only August. We'll get Vanessa into a school here.”
“But I don't know if I can afford it.” She felt equal parts of excitement and terror. “I'll call you back. I have to think.” She sat staring in amazement at the bay outside her windows. Modeling in New York … “the big time,” she grinned to herself … why not? But then suddenly once again she grew frightened. She couldn't. It was crazy. But then again so was sitting in San Francisco, leading no life at all, going to work every day. But what if the Fullertons harassed her? Or was Teddy right? Maybe she should take a chance on going, no matter what. She was still mulling it over the next morning when he called again.
“All right. You've had all night. When are you coming?”
“Teddy, stop pushing!” But she was laughing as she looked at the phone. Still, deep inside she knew that she was resisting.
“If I don't push you, you'll never get off your ass to do it.”
He was right and they both knew it. “Why are you doing this to me?” The fear in her voice was easy to hear now.
He paused for a moment and then answered. “I'm doing it for two reasons. Because I want you here, and also because I think you could have a terrific career.”
“I don't know, Teddy. I have to think about it.”
“Serena, what in the hell is the problem?” And then as he waited he instinctively knew before she told him. It wasn't just San Francisco, it was Brad. “It's Brad, isn't it? You feel close to him there.”
That was exactly it. He had just delved to the heart of the problem. “Yes.” It was a single anguished word. “It's as though when I leave here I'll finally leave him.” Tears sprang to her eyes as she said the words, and at his end Teddy signed.
“Serena, he's already gone. You have to think of yourself.”
“I am.”
“No, you're not. You're hanging on to the city where you lived with him. I understand it. But it's a lousy reason to give up a career. What do you think he'd say?”
“To go.” She didn't hesitate for a second. “But that's not so easy to do.”
“I'm sure it isn't.” His heart went out to her again. “But maybe you have to force yourself to do it.”
“I'll think about it.” It was all he could get out of her that day, and late that night she lay in bed, thinking over every possible aspect of the decision. On the one hand she was dying to go, on the other it tore at her heart to leave San Francisco. She was safe there and she had lived there with him, but how long could she hold on to a ghost? She was well on her way to doing it for a lifetime and she knew it. There had been no men in her life for three years, and her entire existence centered around Vanessa. In New York she'd have a chance for a whole new life now. As she lay awake at 5 A.M., thinking it all out, she felt gripped by a surge of excitement, and suddenly she turned over in bed, reached for the phone, and called Teddy. It