remove yourself from that situation before it becomes too hard to fight.”
“Like Jonah did?”
I nod. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”
Clara stares at me a moment. “Dad couldn’t remove himself from the situation with Jenny because she was always around. Maybe that’s why it happened.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s still not an excuse, though.”
“You’re right. It’s not.”
She lays her head back on my shoulder. I kiss the top of her head, but she doesn’t see the tears that begin to roll down my cheeks. It just feels so good to finally have this conversation with her. It feels good to know that my daughter is a lot more emotionally equipped for the truth than I assumed she was.
“All the stuff I’ve done—it’s not Miller’s fault. He just tried to be there for me. I don’t want you to hate him.”
She doesn’t need to convince me anymore. When I found out he tried to talk her out of having sex with him, I stopped hating him. And then when he apologized to me tonight, I actually started to like him. “I don’t hate him. I actually kind of like him. I’d like him more if he never sneaks into your room again. But I do like him.”
“He won’t,” she says. “I swear.”
“Mrs. Nettle will tell on you, anyway.”
She lifts her head. “Is that how you found out?”
“Sometimes it pays to have the nosiest neighbor alive.”
Clara laughs, but when she sees my tears, her smile fades. I wave it off. “They’re good tears. I promise.”
She shakes her head. “My God. We have been so mean to each other.”
I nod in agreement. “I didn’t think we had it in us.”
“You grounded me from reading books,” she says, laughing.
“You called me predictable.”
“Well, you definitely proved me wrong.”
Somehow, we’re both smiling. I’m appreciative she took the news so well. I realize her feelings could change again tomorrow. She’ll go through a lot of emotions, I’m sure. But for right now, I’m grateful to have this moment with her.
Maybe that’s something I need to learn to cherish a little more. Our relationship isn’t always going to be sunshine and roses, but whenever there’s a break in the storm, I need to take advantage of those breaks. No matter what mood I’m in or what’s going on in my own life, I need to bask in these moments of sunshine with Clara.
“Can we start with a clean slate? Like . . . can we just forget the weed and the detention and the alcohol and the skipping school? I really want my phone back.”
“That’s not all you did wrong,” I say.
“I know, but I was running out of breath. The list is really long.”
Despite everything she’s gone through, I’m still convinced she needs to be grounded. But she’s not the only one who wants to start with a clean slate. I’m not exactly proud of my own behavior.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you back your phone if you promise to stop making fun of me for preferring cable TV over streaming.”
Clara stares at me very seriously. “Oh, man. I don’t know . . .”
“Clara!”
She laughs. “Fine. Deal.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
CLARA
My mother and I walk out of the theater holding hands. Miller is at the far end of the hallway, emptying a trash can. My mother doesn’t see him, but I do. Right before we turn to walk toward the exit, Miller smiles at me.
This moment isn’t even about me and him, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at me right now that feels like he might have just fallen in love with me.
I smile back at him, knowing I’ll remember this three-second silent exchange forever.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
MORGAN
This morning when I woke up, it was the first day since the accident that our house wasn’t filled with tension. I was up studying real estate terms for my upcoming job interview, and Clara hugged me before she rushed out the door with a Pop-Tart.
After school, she texted and said she was working on her film project with Miller. Whether she’s telling the truth, I don’t know. But she’s seventeen. She has a curfew, so as long as she meets it, I’m not going to press her for details on what she and Miller do when they’re together. I already know she’s on birth control, and I’m pretty sure they’re not actively having sex, thanks to her drunken admission.
I’ll bring it up soon, but when the timing is right. I want to ease into this new dynamic we have. If I jar her too much, she