Regretting You (Blackthorn Elite #4) - J.L. Beck Page 0,33
your parents.”
Again, I’m shocked. “I… I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” For some stupid reason, my eyes cut to Jackson, who is staring fiery holes through his parents and me. His mother turns and looks over her shoulder, discovering what I’m looking at.
“Don’t let him scare you. He’s still mourning her loss. He doesn’t know how to deal with pain. Someday, he’ll find a way to heal, but until then, he’s going to be grumpy,” Trish says, snickering. “Life is short, and losing Jillian taught us that.”
“Would your parents be okay with us all sitting together?” Ken asks.
“Uhh, I don’t know. I mean, they can’t tell you to leave the table if that’s what you mean.”
Ken laughs, and it reminds me of all the times he would tell us stupid dad jokes, and he, Jillian, and I would laugh until our cheeks hurt, and tears rolled down our faces. I miss smiling, being happy, feeling joyful instead of dead.
“Good, then let’s sit together,” Trish exclaims and grabs my hand. Together we walk back toward the table while Ken turns and goes to talk to Jackson. He returns a moment later, shaking his head, and Trish gives him a little frown before shrugging her shoulders. My own father refuses to look at me as well, but my mother makes small talk with Trish.
It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but it’s the most structured my life has felt since losing her. Slowly, everything around me melts away, and I allow myself to feel normal for once. I allow myself to feel like I’m not the reason she died.
13
Jackson
How can they do this? How can they talk to her like she didn’t take Jillian from us? How can my mom hug her like she didn’t destroy our life? How can my father forgive her as if it wasn’t all her fault?
I’ve never felt so betrayed in my life. My own fucking parents, what a joke.
Sitting in the corner of the large room, I tighten the grip around the glass of champagne. My hand is shaking with barely restrained anger, and I know the thin glass is going to give way any second now. It’s going to shatter in my hand, like my life shattered the night my twin died.
Even though it physically hurts me to do so, I can’t look away. Every time my mom’s hand rests on Kennedy’s shoulder, I want to throw my glass at them. With every smile they give, it only adds gasoline to the fire. Fueling my hatred and anger until it threatens to swallow me whole. Darkness is my best friend, and I feel the need to give in to it right now.
They act like I’m not even here, ignoring me like they should be doing to her. I can’t fucking take this any longer. I need to get out of here, I can’t breathe.
Just as I get ready to walk out, I notice Kennedy getting up as well. She heads to the bathroom, and instead of leaving, I decide to follow her. Taking the long way around, I avoid my family all together and make it to the bathroom just as she is walking back out.
Sneaking up behind her, I grab her by the arm and pull her back. She lets out a shriek and twists in my hold. “Jackson!”
“Shut up!” I keep dragging her with me. She stumbles over her high heels, and I have to pull her up before she hits the ground. Once we are hidden around the corner, in a corridor away from the event, and any prying eyes, I push her up against the wall.
“What fucking games are you playing? Trying to get close to my family again? What’s the plan now? Killing someone else close to me?”
“What? No… I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“You like playing the innocent little girl, don’t you? You might be able to fool my parents, but never me, do you understand? I know what kind of person you are. I know how black your soul is. You’re ugly inside.”
“Stop! Let go of me, Jackson.” Kennedy fights back, anger flickering in her eyes, which only fans the flame of rage inside me. If I wanted to, I could hurt her–really hurt her–but I wouldn’t come back from that, nor would my heart allow me to do such a thing. No matter how much I try and deny it, I care too much about if she’s living or dead, even though I shouldn’t.