reached for his shorts with a shrug. “I have. But I’ve only been with you since we met, so my past pertains to this discussion how?”
“Well …” Savannah’s thoughts were raw, panicked, confused, and disjointed. He didn’t tell all the women he slept with that he … that he … loved them. Did he? “I’m supposed to be another notch in your bedpost.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “That’s insulting to us both.”
She felt tears welling up, and she panicked even more. She was losing control. She had to stay in control, otherwise she would never survive. “See, this is why I told you before that this is wrong. It just can’t be. We’re too different. We never should have started this. I can’t … I just can’t.”
His eyes went to blue ice. “Can’t what? Love me back?”
Don’t say that!
He started to reach for her but stopped. His arm fell back to his side and he questioned quietly, “Did I ask for that, Savannah? Did I ask for anything?”
“You ask for everything!” She threw out her arms. “You want me to trust you, to forget all the lessons I’ve learned. Oh, you don’t say it aloud, but you’re drip, drip, drip. Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. Everybody’s Friend and Problem Solver. Mr. Haven’t Been Laid in Years? I’ll Take Care of That for You. You wear a woman down, and this is no different.”
In the process of pulling on his pants, Zach froze. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“It’s true, isn’t it? You’re like a nun with a penis. You’re a do-gooder. You’re generous and kind and a dream date, a dream lover.”
“Well, pardon me for such horrific behavior,” he sarcastically drawled.
“You’re the sheriff, for heaven’s sake!” And through the crazy haze of her emotions, she realized just how true that was. Barney Fife? He’d never been Barney Fife. He’d always been Andy. Andy Taylor, Zach Turner. The perfect sheriff in the perfect little town. Well, they didn’t have an ex-con soap maker in Mayberry. I don’t belong in that world. Not with Sheriff Andy, anyway. “You’re the town cop!”
Zach tightened his belt with a jerk. “Yes, I am. But I’m not Kyle effing Vaughn! Dammit, Savannah. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You need psychological help. You cannot equate every man who enters your life with the one asshole who betrayed you.”
Now her tears spilled as Zach continued, “You know what? I’m tired of that. I don’t deserve that. I’ve treated you with nothing but respect, but that doesn’t matter, does it? It’s not enough for you. Well, guess what. I’m done. I might have fallen in love with you, Savannah, but I don’t need this. You can hunker down and be afraid and be alone. That should make you perfectly happy.”
“Zach … I …” Her voice trailed off. She wanted to protest, to apologize, to beg for his forgiveness. But if she did, they’d be right back where they’d started. Nothing had changed here, had it? She didn’t want to fall in love again. She couldn’t do it. He was right. She was afraid and it was easier to be alone.
“Nothing to say? Well, fine. Like I said, I’m done. Forget what I said about loving you, Savannah. That’s what I’m going to do. Logan will pick us up at nine-fifteen. I’m through with this. I’m through with you.”
He didn’t slam the door behind him when he left. Somehow, the quiet snick sounded louder than a bang.
Zach didn’t speak to Savannah on the return flight to Eternity Springs. If Logan picked up on the tension humming in the air between them, he wisely kept it to himself. Upon their arrival at Reflection Point, Zach tossed her the keys to his truck. “Leave it parked wherever you like. I’ll pick it up later.”
He ignored the tight look of pain on her face and marched into his house without a look back. He showered, shaved, and dressed in his full uniform, something he seldom did but that seemed both right and necessary today.
Zach was furious with Savannah. Some of the things she’d said would sting for a long time. Bedpost notches. A nun with a penis? Really? It made him want to put his fist through a wall.
He was angry at Savannah, but even more pissed at himself. What in the world had possessed him? No sooner had he come to a potentially life-altering realization than he felt the need to share it without thinking the possible consequences