My recovery was so fragile that I'd learned to protect it at all costs.
When something threatened my stability, I ditched it.
"There have been other women in his life who've tried ultimatums like that, Eva.
They got bored or they wanted his attention or some kind of grand gesture .
So they walked away and expected him to come after them.
You know what he did?" "Nothing," I said softly, knowing my man.
A man who never spent social time with women he slept with and never slept with women he associated with socially.
Corinne and I were the sole exceptions to that rule, which was yet another reason why his ex sent me into fits of jealousy.
"Nothing more than making sure Angus dropped them off safely," she confirmed, making me think it'd been a tactic she'd tried at some point.
"But when you left, he couldn't chase after you fast enough.
And he wasn't himself when he said good-bye.
He seemed .
off."
Because he'd felt fear.
My eyes closed as I mentally kicked myself.
Hard.
Gideon had told me more than once that it terrified him when I ran, because he couldn't handle the thought that I might not come back.
What good did it do to say that I couldn't imagine living without him when I so often showed him otherwise with my actions? Was it any wonder he hadn't opened up to me about his past? I had to stop running.
Gideon and I were both going to have to stand and fight for this, for us, if we were going to have any hope of making our relationship work.
"Do I owe you now?" I asked neutrally, returning Mark's wave as he left for lunch.
Magdalene exhaled in a rush.
"Gideon and I have known each other a long time.
Our mothers are best friends.
You and I will see each other around, Eva, and I'm hoping we can find a way to avoid any awkwardness."
The woman had come up to me and told me that the minute Gideon "shoved his dick" in me, I was "done."
And she'd hit me with that at a moment when I was especially vulnerable.
"Listen, Magdalene, if you don't cause drama, we'll get by."
And since she was being so forthright .
"I can screw up my relationship with Gideon all by myself, trust me.
I don't need any help."
She laughed softly.
"That was my mistake, I think - I was too careful and too accommodating.
He has to work at it with you.
Anyway .
I've taken up my minute.
I'll let you go."
"Enjoy your weekend," I said, in lieu of thanks.
I still couldn't trust her motivation.
"You, too."
As I returned the receiver to its cradle, my gaze went to the photos of me and Gideon.
I was abruptly overwhelmed by feelings of greed and possession.
He was mine, yet I couldn't be sure from one day to the next whether he'd stay mine.
And the thought of any other woman having him made me insane.
I pulled open my bottom drawer and dug my smartphone out of my purse.
Driven by the need to have him thinking as fiercely about me, I texted him about my sudden desperate hunger to devour him whole: I'd give anything to be sucking your cock right now.
Just thinking about how he looked when I took him in my mouth .
the feral sounds he made when he was about to come .
Standing, I deleted the text the moment I saw it'd been delivered, then dropped my phone back in my purse.
Since it was noon, I closed all the windows on my computer and headed out to reception to find Megumi.
"You hungry for anything in particular?" she asked, pushing to her feet and giving me a chance to admire her belted, sleeveless lavender dress.
I coughed because her question came so soon after my text.
"No.
Your choice.
I'm not picky."
We pushed out through the glass doors to reach the elevators.
"I am so ready for the weekend," Megumi said with a groan as she stabbed the call button with an acrylic- tipped finger.
"A day and a half left to go."
"Got something fun planned?" "That remains to be seen."
She sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Blind date," she explained ruefully.
"Ah.
Do you trust the person setting you up?" "My roommate.
I expect the guy will at least be physically attractive, because I know where she sleeps at night and paybacks are a bitch."
I was smiling as an elevator car reached our floor and we stepped inside.