Cupping my face in his hands, he tilted my head back and kissed me sweetly.
"I love you."
"You're getting good at saying that."
He ran his fingers through my new bangs.
"Remember that night, when you had your nightmare and I was out late? You wondered where I was."
"I still wonder."
"I was at the hotel, clearing out that room.
My fuck pad, as you called it.
Explaining that while you were puking your guts out didn't seem to be the appropriate time."
My breath left me in a rush.
It was a relief to know where he'd been.
An even bigger relief to know that the fuck pad was no more.
His gaze was soft as he looked at me.
"I'd completely forgotten about it until it came up with Dr.
Petersen.
We both know I'll never use it again.
My girl prefers modes of transportation to beds."
He smiled and walked out.
I stared after him.
The security guard filled the open doorway and I shoved aside my roiling thoughts to examine later, when I had the time to really grasp where they were leading me.
* * *
On the walk home, I picked up a bottle of sparkling apple juice in lieu of champagne.
I saw the Bentley every now and then, following along, ever ready to pull over and pick me up.
It used to irritate me, because the lingering connection it represented deepened my confusion over my breakup with Gideon.
Now, the sight of it made me smile.
Dr.
Petersen had been right.
Abstinence and some space had cleared my head.
Somehow, the distance between me and Gideon had made us stronger, made us appreciate each other more and take less for granted.
I loved him more now than I ever had, and I felt that way while I was planning on a night just hanging out with my roommate, having no idea where Gideon was or who he might be with.
It didn't matter.
I knew I was in his thoughts, in his heart.
My phone rang and I pulled it out of my purse.
Seeing my mother's name on the screen, I answered with, "Hi, Mom."
"I don't understand what they're looking for!" she complained, sounding angry and tearful.
"They won't leave Richard alone.
They went to his offices today and took copies of the security tapes."
"The detectives?" "Yes.
They're relentless.
What do they want?" I turned the corner to reach my street.
"To catch a killer.
They probably just want to see Nathan coming and going.
Check the timing or something."
"That's ridiculous!" "Yeah, it's also just a guess.
Don't worry.
There's nothing to find because Stanton's innocent.
Everything will be okay."
"He's been so good about this, Eva," she said softly.
"He's so good to me."
I sighed, hearing the pleading note in her voice.
"I know, Mom.
I get it.
Dad gets it.
You're where you should be.
No one's judging you.
We're all good."
It took me until I reached my front door to calm her down, during which time I wondered what the detectives would see if they pulled the Crossfire security tapes, too.
The history of my relationship with Gideon could be chronicled through the times I'd been in the Cross Industries vestibule with him.
He'd first propositioned me there, bluntly stating his desire.
He'd pinned me to the wall there, right after I'd agreed to date him exclusively.
And he'd rejected my touch that horrible day when he had first started pulling away from me.
The detectives would see it all if they looked back far enough, those private and personal moments in time.
"Call me if you need me," I said as I dropped my bag and purse off at the breakfast bar.
"I'll be home all night."
We hung up, and I noticed an unfamiliar trench coat slung over one of the bar stools.
I shouted out to Cary, "Honey, I'm home!" I put the bottle of apple juice in the fridge and headed down the hallway to my bedroom for a shower.
I was on the threshold of my room when Cary's door opened and Tatiana came out.
My eyes widened at the sight of her naughty nurse costume, complete with exposed garters and fishnets.
"Hey, honey," she said, looking smug.
She was astonishingly tall in her heels, towering over me.
A successful model, Tatiana Cherlin had the kind of face and body that could stop traffic.
"Take care of him for me."
Blinking, I watched the leggy blonde disappear into the living room.
I heard the front door shut a short time later.Cary appeared in his doorway, looking mussed and flushed and wearing only his boxer briefs.
He leaned into the doorway with a lazy, satisfied grin.