Redeeming Her SEAL (ASSIGNMENT Caribbean Nights #9) - Kat Cantrell Page 0,57

keep it.

His eyebrows rose. “What do you mean, only then? Like I’d only marry you if you were pregnant?”

Numb, she sat up and clutched the sheet to her chest, completely unable to look at him a second longer. “It’s not like you would have brought it up otherwise.”

How the hell had this turned into the conversation they were having on their do-over date? This was not what she wanted to be doing with Charlie, examining their relationship under this kind of lens. They were supposed to be having a lot of sex and a lot of fun. Because she’d needed that. Needed to work through their huge, blinding issues slowly, not have them all thrown down in front of her in a big pile of crap that was too high to see over.

“No,” he agreed readily, oblivious to how that one small word had cut right through her skin to slice at her insides. “But that doesn’t change facts. If we’re having a baby together, I want to be married. That’s the way I’ve always imagined doing things, and an unexpected pregnancy doesn’t change that.”

“But that’s not the way I imagined things,” she burst out and clamped her lips together before she said something she couldn’t take back.

It was a horrific paradox that she could hardly fathom—she didn’t want him to leave, but she didn’t want him to stay because he’d been forced to over some misguided sense of honor. How could she ever trust that he was staying because he chose to? A baby wasn’t a breeze, as she well knew from helping raise three of them. One day, he’d surely reach that fed-up level and ditch her just like her dad had done to her mother.

And that was only if he actually followed through.

Marriage was the ultimate promise. Was he finally ready to make promises and vow to keep them for an eternity? It sure didn’t seem like it, and frankly, she wasn’t ready to make that promise. Marriage and independence weren’t compatible.

“Audra,” he said softly. “None of this changes anything. Come here.”

He pulled her into his arms, and she let him because it was Charlie and she’d spent two years dreaming of a day when he’d be the barrier between her and all the bad things in the world.

His warmth soaked through her as he held her tight against the hard planes of his torso. Her leg easily slipped into the crevice between his as they aligned like their bodies had been crafted to fit together exactly this way.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I want you to hear that I’m not going anywhere. I swear I won’t leave you to deal with anything by yourself again. No matter what it is.”

She shut her eyes and let the words wash through her. Opening herself up to believing them despite having absolutely no reason to, especially since he’d already split her heart in two once. They were just words. Empty promises made by a man.

But it was Charlie saying them, telling her he would be the anchor she wanted, needed. Exactly as she’d envisioned a hundred times. He’d understood that she’d needed that vow, but did he understand how critical it was that he not break his word? That if she put her trust in him again and he bailed on her, that would be the final straw? She’d never know if she didn’t take another step forward.

Against all common sense, she nodded against his chest. His lips sought her forehead in a long kiss that seeped through her whole body until even her toes had greedily absorbed its warmth.

Then he eased out of the bed and lifted her into his arms to take her to the bathroom so he could wash her gently in the shower. He didn’t turn it into a seduction, though he easily could have. Instead, it was an act of reverence, as if he truly believed her body might be carrying his child and it meant something to him. He ran his soapy hands over her stomach with such tenderness and no small amount of elation. It was by far the most intimate thing he’d ever done with her.

She wanted so badly to believe his promises. But she just didn’t know if she had it in her to lay down for another emotional beating at his hands. Especially not with all of the other complications, like his jealousy over Jared, which still felt unresolved. But the choices were still clear. Accept what Charlie was offering