Redeeming Her SEAL (ASSIGNMENT Caribbean Nights #9) - Kat Cantrell Page 0,36
he’d brought it up before. “I thought you said you had a job.”
“I do. But my job is an extension of who I am. Dolphins are like my family.”
Her pod. He’d always liked the concept she’d presented of dolphins’ group mentality because SEALs were the same. They were a team. Charlie had never left a man behind, and he’d have laid down his life for one of his guys.
But there was more here than just a desire to look out for some dolphins. Why the sudden capitulation? The undercurrents of this conversation started pinging his hot buttons. “What’s in it for you? Is this the part where I volunteer to trade for sexual favors?”
She didn’t laugh. Perfect. He hadn’t meant it to be funny.
“I don’t pretend to understand what drives Jared—”
“Money,” Charlie said flatly. “No matter what it is, trace it back to money, and that’ll give you your answer. Why are we desecrating our date with a conversation about my least favorite person?”
Yeah, the orgasm plan obviously hadn’t worked to remove Anderson as an obstacle between them, because he was still pissed about it. Maybe more so at his former friend than Audra at this point. But he still wasn’t thrilled that the slime had touched her.
She blanched. “I’m sorry. But we can’t spent the rest of our lives never mentioning his name. Can’t we get to a place where he stays in the past where he belongs and we focus on the present?”
“I have absolutely no trouble never saying his name.” A streak of anger heated the back of Charlie’s neck as the undercurrents went a place he definitely didn’t like. “But that’s because I don’t let him into my head. Obviously I’m alone in that respect.”
So this was how it was going be—constantly on the alert for IEDs buried beneath the surface of the conversation. And when someone stepped on one, the carnage would be comprehensive.
Flushing, she threw up her hands. “He’s not in my head. That’s the exact opposite of what I was going to say. He’s ruthless and determined to win whatever game the two of you are playing, and I don’t want to help him to do that. That’s all. I don’t like being manipulated, and I like the idea of being used even less.”
Ah, now they were getting somewhere. “How is he manipulating you?”
“He’s not.” She scowled. “That’s why I had to end things. Because I didn’t want him to.”
“Sure that’s all there is to it?”
Her face caved in and immediately made him feel like crap. He sat back in his seat because this wasn’t an inquest. No one at this table had ISIS secrets to spill, and he didn’t like that he’d jumped straight into interrogation mode. Nor did he like the reason why—she had some kind of secret. He knew it like he knew whether an assault rifle held bullets with one glance. Her secrets just weren’t the kind that jeopardized national security. Neither should he care so much about the shadows in her eyes that said the secrets weren’t the kind that would hurt him but definitely hurt her.
He just didn’t know how to put his chaotic thoughts in order any other way.
“Yes,” she said simply. “I told you I wanted to start over. Honesty is part of it. Weren’t you the one who pointed out that we’re both bad about saying what’s going on inside? I’m trying to change that.”
She could have easily turned that back on him, with another well placed: Why don’t you try the same? But she didn’t. In apology, he picked up her hand and brought it to his mouth for a long kiss along the ridge of her knuckle. “Tell me what’s going on inside.”
Tell me why Jared Anderson of all people. He wanted her secrets. More than that, he wanted her to want to tell him. Intimacy had the potential to provide that platform, and he wasn’t above using it to get answers for the questions that haunted him.
“I can’t think when you do that.” Her eyelashes drifted lower as he moved to the second knuckle. “My brain goes into a coma.”
“Can’t find a thing wrong with that,” he murmured, but just as he was about to suck a finger into his mouth, she pulled away.
“That’s why you can’t do it,” she informed him with a little frown. “Part of starting over means doing things differently. Maybe we should try talking all night instead of jumping immediately into bed.”