Redeeming Her SEAL (ASSIGNMENT Caribbean Nights #9) - Kat Cantrell Page 0,31
so sure that’s a good idea.”
Oh, not so fast. She’d have sworn she would let him touch her like he had yesterday over her dead body, but somehow he’d made it work, just like she was going to make this work. “Charlie, take off your sunglasses.”
Slowly, he slid them on top of his head, and her stomach flipped over as he speared her with the ice chips in his gaze. “What do you want from me?”
“We’re starting over,” she said firmly. “I can’t be here at Duchess Island and forget everything that happened before. Can you?”
“Not one single second.” But the bleakness in the statement told her he meant all of it, including what had happened since he’d left and come back. “I’m not at a place where I think we can start over.”
The heaviness that dropped onto her chest made it hard to breathe. “So that’s it? What was yesterday all about then if you weren’t looking for a way to start over?”
“It was closure,” he muttered, but he wouldn’t look at her and she didn’t think for one second that’s what it had been about.
Closure? As in he’d had a need to move on and didn’t think that could be accomplished without a couple of orgasms?
“That’s crap, Charlie. It was nothing of the sort. If anything, it was a start. But to what? I’m trying to figure it out, and the first step is admitting that I want to. How about you try the same?” she snapped.
Yeah, her Irish might be up a little, but so what?
The sun baked her skin as she waited for him to speak, breathe, blink, something.
Finally, he nodded once. “I want to.”
She went lightheaded so fast, she feared a face-plant into the sand might be imminent. But somehow she stayed upright.
“Then our do-over should go back to when you walked into FARC for the first time.” She’d seen him standing there in the lobby, and it had walloped her like she’d hit a brick wall. It might have colored how she’d handled pretty much all of their interaction thus far—after all, that was the moment when she’d realized she wasn’t over him. “Hi, Charlie. Long time no see.”
She stuck her hand out, and much like he’d done to her yesterday, she waited, invitation open as long as it took for him to accept. But she wasn’t about to pull him into a scorching hot kiss and then drop to her knees to suck him off until he exploded in her mouth with a spectacular climax… though she would like to get there eventually.
He wasn’t the only one who felt it deep inside when giving pleasure.
No, this do-over had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with how to get to the other side of the misery that had been the last year. It was an opportunity for absolution. To heal from the choices that had driven them apart. Only then could they truly start again.
He hesitated and, after an eternity, clasped her hand in his, swallowing it with his heat and presence and the overwhelming sense that finally they were starting to figure things out. Maybe.
“Hi, Audra.” Charlie held her hand without shaking it, and a wealth of unspoken things passed between them. Finally, he smiled, and it was so genuine that stupid tears pricked at her eyelids.
God, she was a mess if that could get her to cry when almost nothing else about this impasse with Charlie could.
Almost. But today wasn’t a day for the bad stuff and the horrible events that had put them at odds with each other. Some of which he still hadn’t explained, like what had happened to make him send that text message when it was clearly not because he’d lost interest. This wasn’t about the past or the future. It was about right this minute, and all they could do was take that first step.
“Parasailing?” she prompted. “I know a guy who does that. He might be able to get us in on the down low when the boss isn’t looking. But I’ll probably have to trade it for sexual favors. I hope you’re okay with that.”
His rich laugh washed over her. “I’ve heard that guy is a jackass. You can do much better.”
“I don’t think so.” That sobered him, and the heavy awareness settled over them both. “But I’ll let you know after I’ve had a chance to make a proper assessment. Take me parasailing?”