'There must have been something in the local papers. I'll look them up. There's no danger in that.'
Jenny snatched her handbag from the sofa and tipped it upside down. 'Where are my pills? What have you done with them?'
'In the car. I'll fetch them in a minute, but first we're going to make a deal.'
'What are you, my mother?'
'Jenny, stop it.'
She turned, ready to bite his head off. Steve got in first.
'You came to me when you were in trouble. You know how I feel about you, now how about some trust?'
'Does your father have lucid moments?'
'Rarely.'
'And the rest of the time?'
'He's like a child. He has tantrums, strange outbursts, throws things at the TV.'
'And are there periods when he is wholly unresponsive?'
'Yes. The nurses say he'll stare at the same spot on the wall all afternoon.'
Dr Allen nodded calmly, noting this down. If he resented giving up his Saturday afternoon he was hiding it well. He seemed more at home here in his consulting room in the Whitchurch Hospital in Cardiff than in the borrowed room in Chepstow. His other-worldliness fitted perfectly with the grand Edwardian building surrounded by parkland. Jenny found it intimidating. Making her way along vast corridors, passing semi-catatonic women drifting aimlessly in their nightdresses, she was struck with the fear that she could become one of them. She had wanted to turn and run, but Steve had gripped her arm and steered her to their destination, insisting she do it for Ross if not for herself.
'A patient with Alzheimer's as advanced as your father's is not a reliable witness of anything, Jenny,' Dr Allen said. 'The brain is disintegrating. The connections it makes are broken and nonsensical. I appreciate it's difficult, but you must treat his accusation as nonsense.'
'But now I know she existed. We were virtually the same age. No one ever mentioned her.'
'It's not unusual for families to draw a veil of silence over a tragic event.'
'They weren't silent about much else.'
The young psychiatrist put his notebook aside and looked up with a bright, optimistic expression. 'The good news is that we've been pursuing exactly the right course. There is an event in your past which I'm sure we can now expose, and that opens the way to recovery.'
'I can sense a "but" on the way.'
'It's like any medical treatment. There's always a likelihood of short-term pain.'
'How much?'
'I couldn't predict, exactly.'
'I can't stop work, not now.'
'A week or two, surely—'
'And what would it say on my sick note? How many times do I have to tell you? When I'm working, I'm fine.'
'It's up to you, of course, but if you're hallucinating, even mildly-'
'It was a trick of the light.'
Dr Allen sat back in his chair and frowned. 'Let me put it this way. When a patient starts to see things, it tells me that we may have crossed the threshold from anxiety neurosis into something a little more serious.'
'It was one minor incident. It was late. I was exhausted.'
'There are other signs: delusional beliefs, difficulties in social interaction — '
Jenny gave a dismissive shrug. 'I don't have any of those.'
He gave her a searching look. 'You told me you genuinely believed the man and child your partner saw outside your house were ghosts.'
'I was frightened they might be. There's a difference. They were probably just a father and daughter out for a walk. Perhaps he's related to the old woman who used to live in my house; people are always doing that, going back to look at a place—'
Dr Allen held up his hand. 'Calm down. Of course there will be a logical explanation, but think objectively for a moment. You're dealing with a number of cases all at once; how would the parties feel about your involvement if they knew of your state of mind?'
Jenny thought of Paul Craven and Father Starr, and of the worshippers spread-eagled in ecstasy on the floor of the Mission Church of God. Compared with them, she was relatively sane. 'I think they'd take their chances.'
'If you insist. But you do understand that I am obliged to record my advice on your notes.'
In his quiet way he was telling her that this was a point of no return. If she came unstuck, if for any reason the Ministry of Justice ever requested a report on her mental health, the record would state that she had willingly ignored doctor's orders. Her dismissal would be a