Reclaim - Aly Martinez Page 0,61
eye. “I told you I would always come back, and I will keep that promise until the day I die, but what you need is someone who can be here for you. Someone who can stay. I can’t be the only one who knows about this, babe. These secrets are eating you away from the inside out. You gotta let it out. You gotta tell Joe the truth.”
My eyes flared, and I shook my head so fast it vibrated the bed. “I can’t do it. I promised Ramsey—”
“To live,” he interrupted, his tone so sharp it cut through my anxiety. “Jesus, Nora. I don’t know Ramsey, but I guarantee you he has not spent the last four years in a cell just for you to end up in a grave.” He inched down the bed so we were eye to eye and rested his forehead against mine. “All the pain. All the devastation. All the heartache. Something good has to come from this.” He took my hand and intertwined our fingers. After bringing my knuckles to his mouth, he kissed each one. “Let it be you, Nora. Be the good.”
“How?” I croaked through ugly sobs. “Just tell me how. After everything I’ve done.”
“You have to forgive yourself and let people in. You can’t change anything that happened. Some choices you don’t get to make. Some are just made for you. But I swear to you, with my whole heart, not me, not Ramsey, not Thea, not Joe, regardless of what happened in the past, none of us would ever choose a world where you don’t exist.”
I wasn’t sure if I believed him. Eighteen years' worth of drawers in my head disagreed with his logic. But if there was ever a moment I needed to hope, this was it.
I was at absolute rock bottom. What was there left to lose?
Oh, right…
“What if he hates me? What if he hears the truth and never wants to speak to me again? I’d be all alone.”
He sighed. “Then I guess our only choice is to sneak you into my suitcase and fly you back to New York with me. Fair warning, my roommate is a total douchebag. He plays bass in a band called Streets of Eyeless Brutality, hosts concerts for all six of his fans in our apartment every Saturday night, and has never once been to the grocery store but always manages to have food in his mouth, but other than that, Mooney’s decent. He’ll like you.”
The slightest smile tipped my lips. How did he do that? How did Camden Cole always know what to say to put my turbulent mind to rest? Anchoring myself to him and his new life in New York wasn’t an option, but Camden made it feel like anything was possible.
Even telling Joe. Something I so desperately wanted to do but was terror-stricken no less.
“How long are you in town?”
The side of his mouth hitched. “I guess it all depends on how long you need me to stay.”
Forever hung on the tip of my tongue, but that wouldn’t have been fair. He might have thought he loved me, but he had a whole life that didn’t revolve around a girl who couldn’t decide if she wanted to live or die.
“Do you have classes or work or whatever to get back to in New York?”
He smiled, bright and beautiful. “Yeah. I go to Columbia.”
“Wow,” I breathed.
“Don’t be too impressed. I’d have gone to University of Antarctica if it had gotten me farther from my parents.” He winked.
It was wrong to ask him to stay.
It was wrong to ask him for anything.
But I really wasn’t ready to let him go. “Can you stay the night? And be here when I tell Joe. Whatever that entails.”
Pride beamed in his eyes. “Of course.” He released my hand but only so he could drag me into a hug. “Oh God, of course!” He shoved his face in my neck and laughed, and only then did I realize Camden had been living with the infection of my secrets too.
He deserved a break.
We all deserved a break.
He clung to me until Joe returned, and then, true to his word, Camden sat at my side, holding my hand while I confessed the depths of my soul. The truth poured out of me in a waterfall of confessions. Everything from how bad it had been with my dad, to Josh, to the night my choice ended his life. Ramsey at the police station. The guilt that