He rubs my arm gently. “I like this, El. I like you, more than any woman I’ve ever met. But this would be a disaster. You’d hate me and I couldn’t bear that.”
“But this is okay? What we’re doing right now?”
“You’d want more, and I’m incapable of it.”
“Maybe eventually—”
“I’m not what you want, Ella. You deserve better.”
I lift my head and look at him. “So do you, Liam. You deserve so much more.”
He gently pushes me off him. “You’re wrong.”
He gets out of bed and disappears into the bathroom, slamming the door. The door pops back open a bit. The water turns on. I sit up. I can see him through the crack in the door. He slides down the wall to the floor. His head is in his hands, and he’s shaking.
I’ve never felt more helpless in my life.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Liam
She sits at her art desk, sketching, a sandal dangling playfully off her big right toe. Every once in a while, she’ll stop and glance at me. I’m on the bed with the guitar, composing a tune.
“It’s beautiful,” she says. “Is it new?”
I nod, jotting notes on the sheet music. I play faster and harder to get rid of the feeling of wanting her so bad it fucking hurts.
“How do you do that?” she asks. “Your fingers move so fast, and you don’t even look at them.”
“Muscle memory.”
“Can you teach me?”
“You want to learn to play guitar?”
“Sure.” She sits next to me on the bed. “If you’ll trust me with it, that is.” I hand it to her, and she smiles. She strums and then laughs. “It’s not as easy as it looks.” She scoots over and sits between my legs.
“What are you doing?”
“It’ll be easier to show me if I can put my hands on yours.” She snuggles back against me.
“I know what you’re doing, El.”
“I’m learning how to play. Now show me.”
I wrap my arms around her and put my left hand on the fretboard. She places her fingers on top of mine. “This is an E-minor chord. It’s the easiest. Strum like this with your other hand.”
I’m instantly hard. The two things that turn me on more than anything else in this world are in my arms.
We play for a while, her strumming and me doing the chords. I teach her each part of the guitar. She seems genuinely interested, but I think she’s only doing it to be close to me. Maybe she thinks she’ll wear me down or something. I only wish it were that easy.
Someone knocks on the door. “Can you get it?” I ask. “I’ll be right back.”
I slip into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face until my erection wanes. Ella lets out an excited squeal. I open the door and see her hugging Jeremy.
“Liam! Guess what? IRL is buying my sketch for the new album cover.”
“No shit?”
Jeremy nods. “It’s true.”
“How did it happen?” Ella asks. “Ronni hates me.”
“Ronni hates everyone,” I say. “I’d be worried if she didn’t hate you.”
“I didn’t tell her it was yours,” Jeremy says.
I laugh boisterously. “Nice. I want to be there when she finds out who drew it.”
“I’d wait until Ella cashes the check,” he says.
“Look at you,” I tell her. “Children’s book illustrator and now rock album artist. You have quite the résumé.”
“It’s because of you,” she says. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you. It’s going to be a great album. You contributed a whole lot more than the cover.”
She turns red. Jeremy clears his throat. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you tonight.” He goes to the door. “Hard to believe we only have two more performances. I think I’m going to miss Florida.”
After he leaves, Ella sits on her bed looking sad.
“What is it?” I ask.
“It just hit me that this will all be over soon.”
I smile. “And to think six weeks ago you didn’t even want to come.”
“I’ve had so much fun. It’s going to be strange being back home, where my days will be so normal and mundane.”
I want to ask her if she’ll miss seeing me every day, but I don’t. “Ouch, Ella. It hurts my ego that you think being friends with a rock star will be normal and mundane.”
“Is that all we are? Friends?”
I feel the wall go up. “Don’t.” I get my running shorts and head to the bathroom.
A few minutes later, we’re at the beach. It’s become easier for me to talk when we run. “You were