The Rebel - Raleigh Ruebins Page 0,40

camera, alternately adjusting settings and staring at me with that same focused look. I sat there, trying to be patient, the smooth fabric of the loveseat pressed up against my bare ass.

“Okay. I… think we’re actually ready to go,” he said. “God damn, it feels so good to be on this side of the camera.”

I smiled softly. “You seem like a natural at it,” I said.

“Good, because I feel like I’m going to mess it all up.”

“You’re kickin’ ass,” I reassured him.

But I wasn’t so sure about myself. I looked down at my lap, where my cock still lay mostly flaccid, resting on my thigh.

I had always felt lucky that my dick still looked big when it was soft, and it hung well, but it didn’t make me feel any better right now. I knew I was supposed to be hard as a rock for the camera.

I took a deep breath and wrapped my fist around myself, trying to close my eyes and slowly pump it, pretending I was all alone and starting a jerk-off session.

“Do… do you want me to leave the room for a few minutes?” Liam asked.

“No,” I said quickly. “I’ve got it. Trust me.”

I kept stroking myself, and my cock responded a little bit. Typically I had zero problems getting hard. Hell, I got hard more than I needed to, at very inappropriate times.

This was the first time I’d ever really tried to get hard and been... completely unable to. I’d started worrying about every little thing in my life that wasn’t related to making my dick as hard as it could be. I’d been so focused on Liam and the video all morning, but now I worried about the storm damage at Red’s and how much insurance would be laid out. I worried about the loans I hoped to pay off. I worried about the TV show producers coming to visit soon, and what I would say to impress them. And of course, I worried about how flaccid I still was.

After a couple more minutes passed and I was still only a little bit less soft, I let out a frustrated sigh.

“Well, this is fuckin’ annoying,” I said.

“I mean it, you can pull up some viewing material on your phone, if you want,” Liam said from behind the camera.

“I don’t want to do that,” I said.

“Are... you sure you still want to go through with this?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said firmly. “God, yes. I just keep thinking about every other damn thing under the sun.”

“Like what?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, shaking my head.

“If you talk it out a little, maybe you’ll stop worrying about it,” Liam said. “You always used to make me do that. Not that it really worked.”

I exhaled. “Okay. Fine. There’s… a couple TV producers coming to Red’s later this week to profile the bar. If they enjoy it, Red’s has the chance to be selected to feature on a travel show all about bars in America.”

Liam’s eyes widened. “Whoa. That’s incredible. I bet Sam is excited.”

“Oh, Sam is losing his mind with excitement,” I said. “He already said that if we’re selected, we’re having a huge bash at the bar as soon as we find out. I think he’s just happy that if he’s on TV, he might get laid.”

Liam smiled. “Makes sense. It’s probably true, too.”

“Sam thinks I need to get laid, too,” I said. “He told me I could find a husband this way. I laughed in his face.”

Something passed across Liam’s face as I said that.

“Honestly, I was surprised as hell that you weren’t married already, when I came back here,” Liam said. “I thought for sure you had to have some hot as hell husband.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “No. God, no. I’ve been in a dry spell, anyway. There was one guy I saw a couple years ago where marriage felt like it could… maybe be a possibility, but things fizzled out before they ever went there.”

“What was wrong with him?” Liam asked, cocking his head to one side.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Nothing, honestly. But he didn’t ever challenge me, I guess.”

He nodded. “You do like a good challenge.”

A small thrill shot through me. “I know. I’m too much of a sucker for it,” I said. “But if someone doesn’t ever surprise me, or isn’t ever up for adventures… what’s the point? He wasn’t enough. And I felt so bad about it, but I had to break things off.”

“And you’ve been alone since then?”

It felt