And just like that…I knew.
“Say it.” Don’t say it. Deny it. I glanced over to where the double-star service flag hung in our window. Paisley and I had thought they were so cute when we’d bought our matching set. But while Paisley’s were both blue, one of our stars was gold for Dad. I ripped my eyes away, refusing to think of stitching any other color onto it, and locked eyes with the man who owned my very soul. “Tell me, Josh.”
“We’re on deployment orders.”
My eyes slid shut, like I could block this out, hide from it. It could be Honduras, Guatemala, hell, even Korea. It didn’t have to be over there, to that country that had nearly killed him and had ultimately taken my father from me.
“Where?” Our eyes locked, every ounce of the love we’d worked so hard for pouring between us, trying to fill the cracks that would soon become a canyon of distance.
“Afghanistan.”
So much for being just happy.
Chapter Two
JOSH
The word flew from my mouth, and I would have paid anything to take it back, to wipe the look of total and abject fear off her face. She didn’t deserve this.
Any of this.
Life dealt Ember a shit hand, and rather than being the prince, I’d just turned myself into the joker—some sick act of irony. “Babe.”
“When?”
“It’s complicated. I have to progress through some helicopter training before I’m ready to fly with the unit, and they want me to do that here before I leave.”
“Josh. Stop making me ask you things twice, and just be straight with me. You can’t hide this from me or protect me from it, so just be honest and tell me when.”
God, those eyes, they destroyed me. They were wide, wild, even though the rest of her was composed. “A month.”
Her little whimper broke my fucking heart. Her eyes focused on her wineglass, and her spine straightened. I witnessed that moment in the grocery store two years ago all over again, watching her take on a burden she shouldn’t have to and stand even taller for it. “Okay. For how long?” Her voice grew steadier.
She was magnificent.
“Nine months. Maybe longer.” Nine fucking months without seeing her. Kissing her. Feeling her wiggle closer to me while she slept.
December nodded. “I thought they told you that your battalion wasn’t on the patch chart?”
That stupid chart, the one that stated which units were up for deployment rotation, was about as trustworthy as a politician. “Right. When I got the welcome call from the unit, we weren’t. A different battalion was. But then they decided to go with a task force and pull different companies from different battalions—”
“I know what a task force is,” she said quietly, reminding me all too clearly that she was no stranger to this life.
“Right. Sorry. They pulled three of us. Medevac leaves early, but they’re leaving me here this month to progress. The rest of the company leaves next week.”
She sucked in her breath. “So soon.”
“Yeah.” An ominous silence settled over our table, the food growing colder by the minute.
“Jagger? Will?”
“Jagger leaves with me. Carter will rotate in a couple months after us, and stay a couple months later. They’re trying to make sure medevac doesn’t end up with the year-long version of this hell.” She nodded but didn’t speak, still absorbed in the glass in front of her. I reached for her hand, covering it with my own and squeezing gently. “Babe, this will be okay. I’ll be okay.”
Her head snapped toward mine, those blue eyes lit with a fire that was as beautiful as it was intimidating. “You. Don’t. Know. That.” She spat out each word through closed teeth.
Wrong thing to say. “I know that I love you.”
She shook her head. “That country nearly killed you last time, and it did kill my dad. All the love in the world can’t save us from that.” She pulled her hand from mine and buried her face.