Ready or Knot (Knotted Paths #1) - Susi Hawke Page 0,42
have had to have been that first night if he could scent it, right? And I wasn’t thinking—neither of us were thinking, you know? And even with all the... crap I’ve been through, it’s never happened to me before—“
He was rambling. He was anxious. And I was too busy driving my fucking truck, so I couldn’t comfort him. I tried to reach over to grab his hand, but I was shaking. Both hands on the wheel. Focus. But say something.
“Wyatt. It’s okay. I’m not upset with you. How could I be?”
“I don’t even know if you want kids.”
Where was the nearest parking lot? Or driveway? Hell, even a decent-sized shoulder. “I do want kids. And I want kids with you, if you want them, too. Do you?”
“I’m scared.”
“Before we start worrying about the future, let’s figure out if you’re pregnant, first, okay?” There. Fucking finally. I pulled into an auto parts store parking lot.
“Okay. Do we have to go to a doctor, or something?”
“Nope.” I parked haphazardly, taking up two spaces, but the lot was nearly empty, so fuck it. I turned to my mate. I wanted to pull him into my lap, but he was so closed in on himself. “We’ll just get a test at the store. You can take it in the privacy of home, and then we can have the big conversations. But know this. No matter what the test says, I love you.”
Wyatt pressed his knuckles to his lips. “That’s the first time you’ve said those words.”
“No. I must have said it before?”
He shook his head. “I would have remembered.”
Fuck it. I needed to touch him. To reassure him. I tugged at his arm, and he crawled over the console to sit in my lap, his back against my door, his head on my chest.
My mind raced over the last couple of weeks. “Have you not said I love you yet?” I could practically hear it. I was certain he had.
But Wyatt shook his head. “I was too worried about sounding needy.”
How had I managed to fuck up such a simple thing? “Wyatt, I’m sorry I didn’t hear the lack of ‘I love yous.’ It’s just that I’ve felt it so clearly, I didn’t need words. But from now on, I’ll say it as often as possible. I hope you will, too.”
He finally looked at me. “You don’t think it’s too early? In the grand scheme of things, we haven’t known each other very long. I’m worried I—”
“You worry a lot. And I know there are reasons. But I don’t want you to worry about this. You’re my mate. My true mate. Time has less meaning when it comes to love. And I know as much as I love you now, it doesn’t compare to how much I will love you next week. Or a month from now. Or a year or twenty years. ‘I love you’ is a phrase. Its meaning changes. And it’s only going to mean more the longer we’re together.”
Finally, a shaky smile from him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I kissed him gently. All I wanted to do was protect this beautiful, gentle man. “Do you want to go get that test?”
I tapped nervously on the counter. “Is it time yet?”
The pregnancy test lay under a piece of paper, hidden from view.
“Another couple seconds...” The timer on Wyatt’s phone went off. “Okay, now.”
I pulled off the paper, and we peered at the test. I’d gotten one of the fancy ones with the digital display.
Positive.
Anticipation tingled through my veins. “We’re going to have a baby.”
Wyatt picked the test up and stared at it. “So... you do want to keep it?”
“Of course I do.” Anticipation sank into dread. “Why? Do you... not?”
Wyatt seemed to take forever to answer. “For so long, the idea of being pregnant was terrifying to me. I’d watched so many omegas go through it... Sometimes they’d lose the baby if clients were too rough. And if the baby was born... they never got to keep it. They were taken. I don’t know what for. I’d heard stories... but I don’t want to believe anyone could do such horrible things to a baby. They never did it in our building, at least. Not that I knew of, and it was pretty hard to hide things there.”
Probably sold. At best, to families. At worst... Bastards.
I took the test from Wyatt and set it aside. Giving him the choice, I opened my arms. He leaned against me. “So the idea