Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,93
in a distant kind of look and then in a moment, she was back.” The seriousness in Katrina’s tone and eyes made me put it together fast.
“You think her visions hurt her.”
“Yes, exceedingly so.” She gave a one shoulder shrug before taking a bite of a taco and chewing it. “I don’t think I put it all together until knowing you. I’ve only met a few telepaths in passing. Most don’t tell, as you’ve seen the prejudice against them and flags sent up at their power. With how sexist our societies are, that’s dangerous for women. Most hide it.”
“Yeah, but even my telepathy has hurt me a ton of times. I never thought of that. How the visions could hurt her. My head feels sensitive when I get images, not just hearing stuff, and linking minds has given me nosebleeds. Seeing the future had to hurt a lot.”
“It makes sense if you think about it, but I doubt most do, focused more on how exceptional the talent is. How only a few in history have had it. Or so they’ve said.”
“True, but that doesn’t defend how—”
“I’m not defending her,” Katrina argued, shaking her head when I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not, Tamsin. I met your mother once. I didn’t know the woman or really have an opinion for her one way or the other besides she was fair with Iolas, who was in love with her.” She held up her hand to hold me off. “But you are my friend. I bring this all up because I care for you. I care deeply for you, darling.”
I gave her a watery smile. “You realized I have no one to talk about this with because she’s not just my mother, but Queen Meira, and no one has a bad word about her.”
“Yes. But she’s not Queen Meira to you, and every daughter has the right to say whatever she wants about her mother. Gods knows I did and have, even if she’s gone. No woman is perfect. You are a wonderful daughter to protect the legacy of your mother, but you cannot keep this in anymore. It’s eating at you and I’m worried. I doubt I’m the only one.”
“No, you’re not,” I confessed, gesturing to the journal I threw. “Julian said his mom had him write letters to his dad after he was gone and it helped. I was finally making myself try it.”
“Did it help?”
I didn’t answer right away, eating two chalupas before giving a slow nod. “I think maybe it focused the anger. A bit. It could help if I keep doing it. It’s all been this fuming chaos of snowballing rage and trauma that is all swirled around me, but I articulated a few things. I don’t know if focusing anything will help, but chaos is never good to have inside of you.”
“True, very true and wise.” She didn’t say anything until she’d polished off the tacos she wanted and started cleaning up her wrappers. “You might be completely correct in whatever you’re feeling about your mother. I won’t try and dissuade you, and I’m certainly not here to try and defend her. As your friend, I will say my only advice is for you and if you’re open to it.”
“From one of my favorite witches? One of the wisest ever? Always.” I smiled at her to let her know I meant it.
“You are one of the wisest young ones I’ve ever know because you are not quick to jump to conclusions. You are very quick to accurately assess situations and grasp what’s going on when you walk into a room or if there’s a problem. But you do not jump the gun or make judgments without facts. Don’t let your pain change that about you here.”
“We won’t ever know the answers. My judgments and answers are all I’ll have,” I argued, trying to keep my anger out of my voice.
I wasn’t angry at Katrina after all.
“Oh? Really? You think a woman wise enough to lead an entire realm and who had painful future telling visions that saved all fairies wouldn’t think to write any of this down to explain to her daughter one day? Even the men who run the country we live in pass along that football thing with the nuclear launch codes. You don’t think a woman would be smarter and do more than that? I do. I’d bet a lot on that.”
“Thank you, Katrina.”
“I’m glad I could help, darling.” She stood and smiled at me.