Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,79
it wasn’t a long shirt and barely covered my ass.
Still, I had tossed any of his clothes I’d had, so it might be nice to have a few things again. I was pretty sure he knew that and wanted pieces of himself closer to me again, even if it was just his shirt in my closet.
“Can I see you later? Tonight? We can…” He trailed off when he saw whatever was on my face. “Sorry. It’s hard to come back to school. I love teaching runes, but it’s like I lose you.”
“I’m here too,” I mumbled, not understanding since I’d shut back off my telepathy.
“But we can’t be us. We go from living together on breaks to not being able to stay overnight with each other. I can’t just sit with you at meals. It’s hard.”
And I didn’t suffer through it as much because I had the others. That was what he was too kind to say, not trying to make my seeing others a thing when he didn’t feel it an issue. I couldn’t give him as much time as I did them.
“One day, I won’t have to hide, or I’ll finally get outed,” I whispered, standing on my toes and brushing my lips over his. “And on that day, I will do that in front of everyone. I’ve never, not ever been ashamed or wanted to hide I’m with you, Dr. Julian Craftsman. It was to protect us both. Only that. Always.”
“I know. I want to protect you too.” He kissed me this time. “I lost you because I couldn’t tell you how I felt the right way and let you in. I swore to myself if a miracle ever happened and I got you back, I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. So this is me keeping that promise. I have a hard time losing what we share on break.”
“Me too.” I pulled away to get my stuff but paused on the way to the bathroom where I’d left it all. “Thank you for telling me. It’s nice to hear. You said a lot of nice stuff I liked hearing in your head, and it always upset me that you cut me off when you realized I’d heard. It hurt sometimes.”
“White explained to me I was an idiot and how of course, that would hurt a woman—anyone. I couldn’t see it like that. I always wanted to melt into the floor that you would hear my thoughts gushing about you, love. I’m not smooth and confident like you are. I’m as new to a real relationship as you are.”
I smiled at him. “I’m not the only one with self-esteem issues. You really can’t see yourself if you don’t think you’re smooth and confident.”
He shook his head. “I’m not. I’m a bookworm geek who sticks his foot in it all the time.”
“That’s really not true, Julian, or you wouldn’t have a huge fan club that I constantly get jealous over.” I shrugged when he gave me a surprised look I’d admitted that. “You know I feel good behavior should always be rewarded. If you’re going to work on letting me in, I can do the same. Yes, I get ridiculously jealous at their thoughts and fantasies because you were mine.”
“Are.” He smirked at me. “I am all yours, my sweet fairy. Every other woman can sod off. Well, not our friends and allies.”
“Yeah, not them,” I chuckled.
I really did get my stuff and leave then so he could get ready and head out. I chuckled at Izzy when she made sounds like porn music when I stepped through the portal and back into our room.
“You okay?” she checked.
“I’m okay,” I answered, feeling it was mostly true. I didn’t think I’d just be fine for a while, but I wasn’t freaking, and a bit shaky was okay.
That was better than yesterday, so it was also progress.
I quickly showered and changed, grabbing my stuff to check over for the semester before we headed out to the cafeteria. Izzy had already gotten our books and supplies, but I wanted to make sure everything was as it should be and I didn’t need to smack anyone around before classes started Monday.
“Oh, it’s the murderer,” Holly greeted loudly after we swiped in. “How are you, murderer? Did you murder anyone else over break? Any more vampires you slaughtered and won’t be punished for killing?”
I felt the tension in the cafeteria shoot up to extreme levels and realized I’d walked into a trap.