Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,62

his hands over my legs and Hudson kept kissing my hair.

“Can I be honest?” Hudson asked when I was all done. He sighed when I nodded, my body tense and waiting for him to tell me I was stupid. “I wouldn’t have figured it out either but I think subconsciously, you did. You knew someone could mess with your dreams, and you’ve said multiple times this is a world with magic and to not believe what you see.”

“We’re not picking on you, agra,” Darby said quietly. “You’re exhausted and have so much on your shoulders. But I agree. I think you knew somewhere in your mind it wasn’t just dreams, and it was your way to try and make up with him.”

I could almost accept that except… “Then why did I text White to make it stop?”

Lucca snorted. “I’m conflicted about how I feel about Craftsman and I wasn’t in love with him. I hate how he treated you but I understand it. Maybe better than any of you can. He comes from a controlling and messed up family. Yup, check. He doesn’t want to be like them, and it would spiral me out if I thought I was. Yup, check. I wasn’t ready to find my mate at my age. Yup, check. The list is…”

“Yeah, but you weren’t already with her,” Darby sighed.

“No, but I was trying and honestly, I could have fucked it up just as badly. Maybe.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You see Craftsman as a real adult because he’s got his doctorate and a teacher, but he’s only a bit older than us. He’s not even Mel’s age. Even for humans, he’s considered a twit kid still, basically. For us who live so much longer, he is a twit kid to most.”

That was true and fair. I did judge him harsher because I saw him as a real adult. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Give him another chance,” Hudson whispered, the other two nodding, which shocked the shit out of me.

Something I didn’t hide well and amused them.

“You love him so much, agra,” Darby murmured. “You do. We—you are not weak for still loving him. It’s real. You lost him. Why does that matter that it was a breakup and not death? It’s all grief. The difference here is you can have him back.”

“He’ll leave me again,” I choked out.

Lucca snorted. “That’s your pain talking because that man will not leave you. He will not make the same mistakes. Different ones? Oh yeah, we all will, but Julian Craftsman will not risk losing you again when it’s destroyed his soul and risked his one chance at happiness.”

Wow. Just wow.

“I can’t let him back in.”

“Maybe not, but you were happier, agra,” Darby whispered. “You have been for the past few weeks and we thought…”

“It was you making up with us,” Lucca grumbled.

“That’s helped,” I defended.

“And me,” Hudson added.

I shrugged. “It’s not mutually exclusive.”

“That’s fair, but it’s been noticeable,” Hudson pushed. “We thought it was getting real help from these new fairies.”

“Again, that’s not wrong.”

“Yeah, but part of it was Craftsman being back in your life. You were—the dark clouds around you were less. That makes more sense now.”

I sighed after a few moments of eating. “I can’t disagree with that since I can’t be objective. Yes, I’ve been enjoying the dreams, but because I thought they were dreams. I thought I could have… I gave myself this break to be selfish, and then I’d move on.”

Lucca squeezed my shoulder. “What we’re trying to say is that you don’t have to choose, kitten. Tell him what you’ve told us and you can have him too.”

“But it can’t work.”

“Maybe not. We think it will, and it’s worth the risk because you’re drowning without the part of yourself you gave to him. We think it will work out but if it doesn’t, we’ll still be here to help you this time.”

“Will you? Will you really?” I whispered, not having as much faith in them as I should either.

Or maybe they did deserve it.

“Has being there when you needed me been one of my faults?” Hudson asked when the others didn’t seem to know what to say.

No. I didn’t even need a moment to debate that. He was there after what had happened with Mason. He was there so many times when I needed to talk or a shoulder, the support of someone. He messed up in other ways but giving me strength—lending me his—was something Hudson always